H:.r..:;OK. 




... FRENCH, 28-30 Wen 38th St., New Y 



9 



I MB • 

II 






■■■-•■»:.■. 



'.-■■-."- 



mQgT 

QH2 



YOUNG AMERICA 

A Play in Three Acts 

BY 

FREDERICK BALLARD 

(Suggested by Pearl Franklin's "MRS. DORAY" stories) 



Copyright, IQIJ, by Frederick Ballard 
Copyright, 19 17 1 by Samuel French 



Ml Rights Reserved 



CAUTION. — All persons are hereby warned that 
"YOUNG AMERICA," being fully protected under 
the copyright laws of the United States, is subject 
to royalty and anyone presenting the play without 
the consent of the owners or their authorized agents 
will be liable to the penalties by law provided. Ap- 
plication for amateur acting rights must be made 
to SAMUEL. FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th Street, New 
York. Application for the professional acting rights 
must be made to the AMERICAN PLAY COMPANY, 
33 West 42nd Street, New York. 



New York 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

Publisher 

28-30 West 38th Street 



London 

SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd 

26 Southampton Street 

STRAND 






«>V 



Especial notice should be taken that the pos- 
session of this book without a valid contract for 
production first having been obtained from the 
publisher, confers no right or license to profes- 
sionals or amateurs to produce the play publicly 
or in private for gain or charity. 

In its present form this play is dedicated to 
the reading public only, and no performance of it 
may be given, except by special arrangement with 
Samuel French. 

SECTION 28.— That any person who wil- 
fully or for profit shall infringe any copyright 
secured by this act, or who shall knowingly and 
wilfully aid or abet such infringement, shall be 
deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon con- 
viction thereof shall be punished by imprisonment 
for not exceeding one year, or by a fine of not 
less than one hundred dollars nor more than one 
thousand dollars, or both, in the discretion of the 
court. Act of March 4, 1909. 



©Ci.D 48882 

FEB -9lyi8 
.•• • 

• •4 
••• 

tvt> I 



TO MY MOTHER AND FATHER 



The following is a copy of the play-bill of the first per- 
formance of ' ' Young America ' ' : 

Astor Theater, New York City Aug. 29th, 1915 

COHAN & HAEEIS 

PRESENT 

YOUNG AMERICA 

A Play In Three Acts 

BY 

Frederick Ballard 
Staged under the direction of Sam Forrest 



OKIGINAL CAST 

The characters appear in the order in which they are named 

Jack Doray Otto Kruger 

Edith Dorat Peggy Wood 

Mrs. McGuire Adella Barker 

Art Simpson Percy Helton 

Jim Eeuter Charles Dow Clark 

Benny King Sam Coit 

Billy Coombs William Sampson 

Teresa McGuire Maxine Mazanovich 

Patsy McGuire Jess Kelley 

Willie Wright Tonny Dillion 

Eomney Burgess Edgar Nelson 

Fanny King Doris Kelley 

Marjorie Timmins Ethel May Davis 

The Dog Jasper 

Nels Larson Dixie Taylor 

Court Officer Felix McGuire 

The Clerk Harry E. Willard 

Isaac Slavinsky Joseph Berger 

Washington White Norman Allen 

Mrs. White Manda Wilson 

Judge Palmer ForreSt Eobinson 

Nutty Beemer Benny 

Pinto , , . . , Just Pinto 

4 



SYNOPSIS OF SCENES 

ACT I Living Eoom at the Dorays' suburban 
cottage, 8 P. M. ? May 27th. 

ACT II Juvenile Court Room, 10 A. M., 2 days 
later. 

ACT III Same as Act I, 4 A. M., next day. 



Note: The Dog in this play need not be a trick dog* 
Any dog that will lie still when told will suffice. The 
homlier the dog, the better. 



YOUNG AMERICA 

ACT I 

Scene: — The combined living and dining-room of 
the Dorays' suburban cottage, 8 P. M . May 2Vth. 
It is a cozy unpretentious but tastefully fur- 
nished room with five entrances : l.u.e. the front 
door opening onto veranda. Rear E. a swinging 
door opening into pantry and Jcitchen. E.x. 3 
stairs leading to upstairs bedrooms. Rear center, 
large French windows with Swiss curtains and 
a long window-seat. When the windows are 
open the Dorays' flowering hedge can be seen 
and beyond hedge (on back drop) a cottage 
across the street. Cottage has well kept lawn 
and shade trees, l. 2 another, but small, French 
window with window seat. 
The furniture of the room consists of a round 
fumed oak dining-table with three chairs to 
match, e. c. A small- buffet to match against 
wall, E. 2. China plates, silverware decanter, 
etc. on buffet. Wicker rocking chair, L. c. 
Heavy arm chair, upholstered with flowered 
cretonne, against wall, between l.u.d. and l. 2 
window. Concealed behind up-stag e side of 
chair is a small portable electric vacuum cleaner. 
It is practical, has about fifteen feet of electric 
cable, ten feet of rubber hose and is connected 
with electric wall socket, which is just below 
l.u.d. and about four feet from floor. A pretty 
cretonne sofa with pillow to l. of rear window. 
At e. end of sofa a pretty little wicker sewing- 
stand. It is portable, has a wicker handle, and 
contains darning yarns and crocheting thread, 



8 YOUNG AMERICA 

darning needles and crochet hooks. A telephone 
' table with phone on it at R. of rear window. 
Small chair at L. side of table. Upholstered 
chair to R. 

A fumed oak clock on wall at l. of window. 
Engravings and two Frederick Remington prints 
on walls. Cretonne draperies to match sofa and 
window seats. 

The room is lighted by four electric wall lamps 
above and below buffet, above and below l. d. 
and a pretty chandelier suspended from center 
of ceiling. 

AT EISE: — Jack Doray discovered in easy chair 
reading newspaper. He is a good-looking 
pleasant young man of medium height and 
build. He wears a smoking jacket and leather 
house slippers. He is reading the sporting sec- 
tion of the evening paper. 
Pause, during which an occasional clatter of 
dishes is heard off R. the pantry door being open. 

Doray. (naturally and without looking up from 
paper) Edie ! 

Mrs. D. (pleasantly, from off R.) Yes? 

Doray. Christy Mathewson made a home run 
today. Scored Merkle and shoved the Giants up a 
peg. (pause, dishes clatter off R. Doray glances 
curiously at door r. then:) Yon don't seem to care 
much. 

Mrs D. (off r.) Yes, I do. (Doray resumes 
his reading. After a slight pause Mrs. Doray enters 
from r. Mrs Doray is a pretty young woman, in 
house dress and kitchen apron and carries some 
plates in her hand. As she crosses to buffet with 
plates.) What was it yon said abont Christy 
Mathewson and a peg? (Doray glances at her. She 



YOUNG AMEEICA 9 

puts plates on buffet) I didn't quite understand. 
(now at r. of Doray's chair; Doray has resumed 
reading) You see, I was washing the dishes — (play- 
fully ironical, with a little smile) — and wiping them. 
(turning bach to him) Here, unbutton my apron, 
will you, dear ? 

Doray. (Unbuttoning her apron) Honey, you 
know I told you you could have a maid. 

Mrs. D. (removing apron and putting it in lower 
drawer of buffet) I know it, dear, and it was sweet 
of you, but in a cozy little home such as this, why 
have a maid? Half the fun of keeping house is in 
doing the work, especially when one's house has as 
many labor saving devices as ours has. (starts across 
l. sees cigar ashes c. stops. Pointing at ashes on 
floor) Now, what's that? 

Doray. I don't know. 

Mrs. D. It's cigar ashes. 

Doray. (holding up pipe) I'm smoking a pipe. 

Mrs. D. On my nice clean floor too. (crossing 
to vacuum cleaner) I'll clean it up. 

Doray. (rising) Let me do it. 

Mrs. No, I'll do it myself, (picks up the hose 
of vacuum cleaner.) 

Doray. (sitting) Oh, I see. You like to use 
that thing. 

Mrs. D. (crossing c. with hose) Well, it's a lot 
better than the servants around here. I wouldn't 
have them about. 

Doray. All right, Edie, if that's the way you feel 
about it. (resumes reading) 

Mrs. D. (prettily, as she rests cleaning hose 
upright on floor) That is the way I feel about it 
— at least, that is the way I feel about it 
now. Of course when we have a family it will be 
different. We shall have to have a lot of servants 



10 YOUNG AMERICA 

then, (counting on her fingers) There will be a 
cook, and a maid, and a nurse girl, and a butler to 
keep the little ones amused, and a chauffeur to take 
them out driving, and a gardener, to show them how 
to raise pretty little flowers and supply them with 
fresh green vegetables every day, and — oh, mercy 
only knows how many others! But until we do 
have children, dear — (pause, and looks at Doeay 
who is engrossed in his newspaper — then dryly) 
Are you listening? 

Doray. Yes, dear, (with eyes on the paper) 
My, but there were some close scores today. 

Mrs. D. That's nice. Now, as I was saying, 
until we do have children we will not have a maid. 
I shall do all my own house work, (starts the motor 
of vacuum cleaner and cleans up ashes with cleaner 
as she sings. Doray hums the tune as he reads. 
Phone rings, Mrs. D. hears it. Doray doesn't. 
Pause, during which Mrs. Doray keeps on cleaning 
carpet. Phone rings again) Yes, yes, I'm coming, 
I'm coming. (Turns of motor and hastens to 
'phone) 

Doray. (glancing up from paper) Oh, did the 
phone ring? 

Mrs. D. (picking up phone) Yes, dear, twice. 
(in phone) Hello — Yes — I'll ask him. (to 
Doray) Benny King wants to know how your appe- 
tite is? 

Doray. Appetite ? Oh, I know, he wants a game 
of pitch. Tell him I'll be right over, (tosses paper 
aside, starts upstairs) 

Mrs. D. (in phone) Jack says it's fine, and for 
you to come right over. 

Doray. I said no such thing. (Doray returns 
from stairs, and tries to take receiver from her) 



YOUNG AMERICA 11 

Mes. D. (in phone) And bring Mrs. King with 
you — All right, good bye. (hangs up receiver 
hastily) 

Doray. Come here! (pointing to imaginary 
line at his feet) Why didn't you tell him what I 
told you to? 

Mrs. D. Because, loving my husband dearly, and 
my husband being away all day long, I wish to be 
with him as much as possible when he is at home. 

Doray. You could have gone over there with me. 
(comes down R.) 

Mrs. D. (smiling) Yes, but this is home. 
(crossing to vacuum cleaner) 

Doray. Do you think I want to stay home every 
night? 

Mrs. D. Well, do you think Benny King does? 

(Phone rings. Both run for it. Doray gets there 
first, grabs up the phone) 

Doray. (in phone) Hello ! 

Mrs. D. If that's Benny King you tell him to 
come. 

Doray. (to Mrs. D.) It isn't— it's Billy 
Coombs. 

Mrs. D. (l. of him) Ask him to come over too. 

Doray. Hush up or I'll kiss you. (in phone) 
No, not you, you big boob. — Sorry, Bill, but why 
can't you come over here? Benny's coming and 
we'll have a three-handed game. 

Mrs. D. Ask him to bring Mrs. Coombs, (in 
telephone) Bring Mrs. Coombs! 

Doray. Hear that ? Yes, that's my wife ! Who 
did you think it was? Oh, I see? (laughs) All 
right, (hangs up receiver) 

Mrs. D. (going l.) Is Mrs. Coombs coming? 



13 YOUNG AMERICA 

Doray. (coming down to table) No. 

Mrs. D. Why not? ('picking up vacuum hose 
and placing it on l. side of chair) 

Doray. She's reading a new novel by Eobert W. 
Chambers and Billy can't make her break away. 
(sits R. of table and picks up paper) 

Mrs. D. (whimsically) Poor Billy, (door bell 
rings.) 

Doray. (jumping up) Pll answer it. 

Mrs. D. Never mind, Pll see who it is. (goes 
to door and opens it) Oh, good evening, Mrs. Mc- 
Guire, come right in. 

Mrs. McG. (as she enters followed by Arthur, 
who carries basket of clean clothes. She is a large 
Irish washerwoman, homely and hard. Art is a 
likeable boy of fifteen, barefoot, somewhat ragged, 
needs a haircut, and looks abused and under- 
nourished. He wears knee-pants, an old black 
sateen shirt, and cap. He is glum when he enters) 
Good evening, Ma'am. 

Mrs. D. (closes the door, and follows her to c.) 

Mrs. McG. (to Doray as she sees him) How 
are you, Mr. Doray? 

Doray. Hello ! 

Mrs. McG. (to Mrs. Doray) I'd have had the 
washing here by six o'clock, but this little devil never 
came into the house until ten minutes ago, and of 
course I had to wait so's he could help me carry the 
basket. 

Mrs. D. Oh, that's all right, Mrs. McGuire; 
there's no hurry, (pats Art on back) Hello 
Arthur ! How are you ? 

Art. (smiling at Mrs. Doray) All right. 

Mrs. McG. (to Mrs. D.) For goodness sakes 
don't do that. Kindness is the ruination of the 
likes of him. What he needs is his ears boxed, and 



YOUNG AMERICA 13 

that's what he's going to get when I get him home. 
Yes, and ye're goin' to bed without your supper — 
you sassy little cockroach, (shakes her finger threat- 
eningly at him.) 

Mrs. D. Why, Arthur, what have you been 
doing? 

Art. I ain't done nothin', Mrs. Doray. 

Mrs. McG. You bet he ain't done nothing. He 
never does nothing. He's a lazy good for nothing 
little tadpole, (to Art.) Go on now, and carry- 
that wash upstairs where it belongs, (indicates 
stairs) Go on. For goodness sake, hurry up. 

Art. (picking up basket, crosses R.) All right; 
you needn't holler. 

Mrs. McG. Don't you talk back to me. (cuffs 
him.) You sassy little divil. 

Mrs. D. Oh, don't do that, Mrs. McGuire. 
(crosses) Here, Arthur, let me help you. 

Doray. No, dear, please let me do that, (rises) 

Mrs. D. No, I have to count it and lay it out, 
anyway, so don't trouble. Come on, Arthur, (as they 
go upstairs) I'll have your basket ready for you in 
just a few moments, Mrs. McGuire. 

Mrs. McGuire. Very well, ma'am. (Mrs. D. and 
Art exit upstairs. To Doray) I'd carry it myself, 
but them stairs is too much for me. 'Tis little 
enough I get for the work I do without climbing 
stairs and breaking my poor back entirely, (to 
Doray) If you don't mind I'd like to sit down and 
rest me poor bones for a second or two. 

Doray. Certainly, Mrs. McGuire. 

Mrs. McG. (sits) That murderin' little rascal 
has upset me so that I do believe I'm on the verge of 
a nervous collapsion. (she sits L. of table as she says 
this) 



14 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Doray. What seems to be the trouble with your 
nephew ? 

Mrs. McG. Heaven only knows, Mrs. Doray. If 
I was that boy's own mother I couldn't be kinder or 
gentler to the little monkey, but 'tis no thanks I get. 
All he thinks about is that yaller dog o' his, or play- 
ing base ball and hoop-scotch and all the other games 
that was never meant for anything but the children 
of millionaires. Not a dollar does he bring into the 
house. Not a stroke of work does he do unless he's 
compelled to. If it wasn't that I promised his poor 
mother in Heaven — Lord rest her soul ! — that I'd 
watch out for him and give him a home, I'd turn 
him over to the authorities and have him put in the 
Eeform School where he belongs. 

Doray. That's too bad! You mean he's incor- 
rigible ? 

Mrs. McG. He is that — whatever it means — and 
any other names you can think of to call him. 

Doray. Oh ! well, he may turn out all right later 
on. 

Mrs. McG. And what good will that do me? 
By the time he turns out all right me poor back 
will be broke over that wash tub; besides I have 
children of me own to work and worry for, without 
putting up with the likes of him. Ah ! 'Tis a hard 
life I lead in this. cruel world, so it is. 

Doray. (continues to read) Well, I'm very 
sorry for you, Mrs. McGuire. (whistles happily) 

Mrs. McG. Yes, you act as if you were sorry. 
I wish to goodness I could be happy enough to 
whistle once in a while. 'Tis not even the price of 
a little stimulant can I afford to warm the cockles 
of me poor old broken heart, (she sees the whiskey 
decanter on buffet) You haven't a drop in the house 



YOUNG AMEKICA 15 

to spare, have you? (Doray glances at her) 'Tis 
that tired I am that I feel Fll faint unless I get it. 

Doeay. Get what? (Mrs. McG. looks over at 
the decanter shyly. Doeay glances at decanter then 
laughs at Mes. McG.) Oh, that's it, eh? Why of 
course! Why didn't you say so in the first place? 
{goes to side-board for decanter and bottle) 

Mes. McG. (smiles) 'Tis backward and bashful 
I am about such things. 

Doeay. (placing decanter and water bottle in 
front of her) Yes, so I see. 

Mes. McG. (putting water bottle aside and pick- 
ing up decanter) Ah ! Mr. Doray, if it wasn't for the 
likes of such fine gentlemen as you, sure this life 
wouldn't be worth living at all, at all. 
(Doeay places small whiskey glass beside decanter 
and large water glass beside water bottle) 

Doeay. There you are. (Mes. McG. puts whiskey, 
glass beside water bottle, takes water glass and puts 
beside decanter) 

Mes. McG. Well, here's lookin' at you. (as she 
pours a drink from decanter into water glass) 

Doeay. Drink hearty ! 

Mes. McG. Begorry but that's great. The 
prayers of a poor old woman will be for you this 
night, sir. 

Doeay. I'll bet they will. 

Mes. McG. You bet your sweet life they will. 
(door bell rings) 

Doeay. Come in. 

Eeutee. (enters — crosses down l. Mes. McG. 
pauses, looks at Eeutee) Excuse me, Jack. 

Doeay. Hello Jim. (Eeutee seeing the glass of 
whiskey in Mes. McG/s hand, pauses and coughs 






16 YOUNG AMEEICA 

significantly — comedy business. Eeuter wants a 
drink and his expression and business show it. 
Eeuter is a typical suburban policeman. He wears 
the usual uniform and a large badge. He is homely 
and very officious) What's the matter? 

Eeuter. I come to see Mrs. McGuire. (Mrs. 
Doray enters down stairs followed by Art with 
empty basket. To Mrs. McG.) I heard you were 
here and I came to warn yon that them two kids of 
yours are down on Grove Street throwing stones at 
automobiles. They broke a window in Wilson's 
grocery store, too! Now, they're pretty young kids 
and I don't want to do anything that aint right, 
but unless you get ahold of 'em and promise to keep 
'em off the street I'll have to treat 'em like grown- 
ups and run 'em in — do you understand? (business 
as if trying to suck a berry seed out of a hollow 
tooth) 

Mrs. McG. Glory be to goodness! Is a poor 
woman's troubles never going to end? (Note: — 
during Eeuter's speech Mrs. Doray and Art have 
come downstairs and overheard. Mrs. McG. crosses 
to Art) You're the cause of this, you young spal- 
peen. 'Tis the tricks of a hoodlum you've taught 
them. You dirty little ragamuffin, (she pulls his 
hair) 

Art. Leave me alone. 'Taint my fault, (pulls 
away from her and puts basket in front of settee — 
drop down r. of Eeuter) 

Mrs. D. (r. c.) Please don't be so hard on the 
boy, Mrs. McGuire. He isn't to blame. 

Mrs. McG. If he ain't who is? Two better 
children than me own never lived until he came into 
the house. 'Tis only imitating him, so they are. 

Eeuter. Well, it's the last warning. Everybody 
in the neighborhood's complaining about them and 



YOUNG AMEKICA 17 

now they've got just about as far as they're going to 
get. You've got to keep them off the streets. 
{business with tooth) Do you understand? {busi- 
ness with tooth) 

Mrs. McG. I will sir. 'Tis a good lambasting 
both of them will get when I get them home. 

Eeuter. {to Mrs. Doray) She's right about 
this kid, Mrs. Doray. {indicates Art.) He's the 
toughest nut in town. 

Art. What'd I ever do to you? 

Eeuter. {business with tooth) Well, you stole 
my ice-cream freezer about two months ago. 

Art. (l. c. yells) I did not! 

Eeuter. You did too. 

Mrs. Doray. How do you know he did ? 

Eeuter. Well, I know it. 

Mrs. D. Well, how? 

Eeuter. Well, I have ways of finding out those 
things, that's all. I had him down in the Juvenile 
Court, but the judge gave him another chance. I've 
had my eye on him good ever since, {to Mrs. McG.) 
Eemember now, you've got to keep those kids off the 
streets. 

Mrs. McG. {turning to him) I will, sir, heaven 
ihelp me; I'll do the best I can. (Art. goes up c. 
Mrs. McG. finishes drinking. Crosses up R. c.) 

Eeuter. Sorry I had to butt in on you, Jack. 
{looks wistfully at brandy, coughs insinuatingly) I 
kinder caught a little cold last night. Guess I got 
my feet wet. 

Doray. That's all right, Jim, I understand. 

Mrs. D. {now at door l.) Good evening, Mr. 
Eeuter. 

Eeuter. {taking the hint — coughs) Well, I'm 
sorry I can't stay and visit with you. I'm pretty 
busy. Good evenin', Mrs. Doray. {crosses l. d. 



18 YOUNG AMERICA 

then to Mrs. McG.) Now be sure and keep them 
kids off the streets, Mrs. MeGuire. The law has 
spoke, (business with tooth) So long, folks, (exit. 
Art comes down to L. c.) 

Mrs. McG. (to Art — noiv at l. c.) Now see 
what you've done, you thievin' little divil you. 

Mrs. D. Oh, don't talk to the boy like that, Mrs. 
McGuire. (crossing down to r. c.) 

Mrs. McG. 'Tis me own business I'm tending to, 
Mrs. Doray, and I'll thank you to do the same. 

Mrs. D. Now don't misunderstand me. I 

Doray. (interrupts) Oh, give her what's com- 
ing to her, Edie, and let her go. (Mrs. Doray 
crosses to cup for money) 

Mrs. McG. Yes, all I want is the pay for me work, 
and no advice as to how I'm to conduct the bringing 
up of me own children. 

Mrs. D. (r.) You ought to be ashamed of your- 
self to treat the boy in such a manner. It's enough 
to break the spirit of any child. 

Doray. Now please Edie, don't interfere. (an- 
noyed) 

Mrs. D. Well, Arthur was just telling me that 
■ she cuffs and kicks him from one end of the day to 
the other. He says he never gets a kind word. 

Mrs. McG. (to Art) Wait 'till I get you home, 
you ungrateful little imp ! (shakes fist at him) 

Doray. You're making it nice for him now. 

Mrs. D. (over to Mrs. McG. with money) 
Here's your money. 

Mrs. McG. 'Tis no gift. God knows I learned 
it. (grabs the money. Art goes up c. and glances 
out of window) 

Mrs. D. Why don't you try to be human? The 
boy's all right if you'll only be fair with him and 
don't frighten him to death. 



YOUNG AMEEICA 19 

Doray. Now, Edie, please dear! (business be- 
tween Doeay and Mes. Dokay) 

Mrs. McG. And since when did you learn the 
bringing up of children? Sure I don't see any 
running around this house. 

Mes. D. (crossing to table) You needn't call 
for the wash any more; I'm going to give the work 
to someone who deserves it. (sits at l. side of table) 

Mes. McG. As if I cared, (crossing to door) 
There's rags enough to be washed in this world with- 
out begging for the chance, (to Aet) You'll pay 
for this, you thug-a-mug, you! (shakes Tier fist at 
him) Wait till I get you home. You'll feel the 
weight of me hand this night, I'll promise you. 
(Mes. Doeay rises) 

Aet. Is that so? Well you ain't going to get 
the chance. You've soaked me for the last time. 
I'll tell you that right now. And what's more, 
you've seen me for the last time, too. I'm going to 
get out of this town tonight. Good-bye, Mrs. Doray. 
(jumps through window and runs off L.) 

Mes. McG. (goes to window and calls) Come back 
here, you little devil. I'll get him and when I do, 
Lord help him. (exits door with basket) 

Mes. D. (looking out of window) There he goes 
lickety-split. (Doeay crosses to e. of window) 
Poor kid, I don't blame him. It's a crime the way 
he's treated, (goes to e. u. e. and closes door) 

Doeay. Well, you shouldn't have interfered, Edie. 

Mes. D. I couldn't help it. The boy may be 
wild, but he certainly deserves better treatment than 
he's getting. Oh, I wish I had a lot of money. I'd 
build a home for just such poor kids as he and give 
them half-way decent things to eat and wear. 

Doeay. (laughs) Do you know what I'd do if 



20 YOUNG AMERICA 

I had a lot of money? Spend it all making yon 
happy, (sits near table l. of table R.) 

Mrs. D. I'm so happy now Fm miserable, (over 
to him) 

Doray. Come here to me. (Doray pulls Mrs. 
Doray into his lap and hugs her) 

Mrs. D. (pensively, after slight pause) You 
know, dear, I have been thinking. 

Doray. (playfully satiric) No! 

Mrs. D. Yes. 

Doray. (as before) What about — me? 

Mrs. D. (gravely) Us. 

Doray. (as before) Oh! . So serious as all 
that! 

Mrs. D. (sweetly, but seriously) It is serious, 
Jack dear. You and I are very very selfish. 

Doray. Oh, come, now, Edee ! 

Mrs. D. Yes, we are. Here we have this cozy 
little home, you have a good position and so far 
as we can see the future holds nothing but hap- 
piness. Yet what have we done or what are we 
doing to make others happy? It isnt right, 
dear. (Doray smiles at her seriousness) Eeally, 
dear! We should share our happiness with oth- 
ers. Just think what a home such as this would 
mean to that poor boy ! 

Doray. (drolly) Think what it means to me! 
(hisses Mrs. Doray) 

Mrs. D. But Jack, dear — (Doray hisses her 
again, lovingly and prolong edly. The door bell rings 
but neither of them hear it. Doray embraces Mrs. 
Doray. Door bell rings again. Neither of them 
hear it. Enter Benny King, l. d., carrying a large 
wicher traveling bag. Benny is a breezy young com- 



YOUNG AMEKICA 21 

muter. Stops short upon seeing Doray and Mrs. 
Doray embracing) 

Benny. Excuse me! I'm in the wrong house! 
(starts to exit. Mr. and Mrs. Doray break away 
from each other) 

Doray. Hey, wait a minute! Come back here! 
What's the matter with you? 

Benny, (laughing, good-naturedly) Home was 
never like this! (lays hat, crown down L. of tele- 
phone table. Mrs. Doray goes up and closes door) 

Mrs. D. I thought I asked you to bring Mrs. 
King. 

Benny, (coming down c.) She and Marjorie 
are playing bridge. 

Doray. Hello, Ben, how are you ? 

Benny. Fine. 

Doray. Fd have come over to your house, but — 

Mrs. D. But I answered the 'phone. 

Benny, (to Mrs. Doray) Thanks, (to Doray 
l. of table) I'm glad you didn't come. It gave me 
a chance to break away, (puts bag on table R.) 

Doray. (referring to the bag) Going some 
place ? 

Benny, (smiling) No, I've just arrived. 

Doray. Then why the bag? 

Benny. That's what I came over to talk to you 
about. 

Mrs. D. What, the bag? 

Benny. No, what's in the bag. (crossing to 
back of table) 

Doray. All right, I'll be the goat, (crossing 
front of table, to R.) What's in the bag? 

Benny, (proudly) Opportunity. 

Mrs. D. (puzzled) What? 



22 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Benny. Opportunity, (begins to unfasten clasps 
of bag deliberately) 

Doray. (r.) Say, is this a joke? 

Benny, (back of table) Yon won't think so 
when yon see it. 

Mrs. D. (seated at l. of table) Well, for good- 
ness sake, hurry and tell ns ! What is it ? 

Benny. A business proposition. 

Doray. Just a moment, Benny. Benny pauses 
and looks at Doray) If that's a gold brick keep 
it and sell it to Billy Coombs. 

Benny, (preparing to open the bag) It is a 
great proposition and I am going to split it three 
ways — you, Billy Coombs, and me. 

Mrs. D. Do hurry and open it up, Benny. I'm 
dying to see what it is. 

Benny, (opens the bag and reveals a fine Barred 
Plymouth Rock rooster standing on bottom of bag 
to which he is chained.) All right, there you are! 

(Note: — The bag is collapsible and is built in such 
a way that by unfastening a clasp on each upper 
corner of the bag, the sides fall flat on the table. 
The sides and ends are hinged to the bottom, and the 
clasps are near the handle) 

Doray. Wow ! Gee, that's a bird ! 

Benny. What did you think it was? 

Mrs. D. Oh, what a beautiful rooster ! 

Benny. Beautiful ! A government mint on two 
legs. 

Doray. Where did you get him ? 

Benny. Bought him this afternoon at the poultry 
show, and believe me, he's worth the price, (stroking 
the rooster s back) Look at him. Isn't he a work 
of art? 

Doray. He certainly is. 



YOUNG AMEEICA 23 

Benny. There's a small fortune in that little 
bird. 

Mks. D. Eeally? 

Benny. Surest thing you know ! And the sooner 
we begin the sooner we'll get the fortune. That's 
why I brought the bird over here tonight. I want 
to begin the first thing tomorrow morning, and I 
want Jack to go in with me. 

Doeay. In where? 

Benny. In the chicken business. 

Doeay. (laughing sarcastically) No, thanks. 

Benny. Now wait a minute, Jack. You don't 
realize the possibilities of this proposition. 

Doeay. Yes, I do — that's exactly why I'm going 
to keep out. (crosses to L.) 

Benny, (follows Doeay to c. Mes. Doeay sits 
e. of table) But I want you to come in. Listen: 
you have good chickens, Billy Coombs has good 
chickens, I have good chickens. We can combine our 
flocks, rent a vacant lot, and inside of a year double 
our money. 

Doeay. When it comes to raising chickens, 
Benny, I prefer to let my money remain single. 

Benny. All right. Opportunity knocked and 
you slammed the door in his face, (closing the bag) 
Come on, Oppy, our next stop is Billy Coombs' ! 

Doeay. (as Benny starts toward door l.) Why 
don't you wait here for Billy? He's coming over to 
play cards. He'll be here in a minute. 

Mes. Doeay. Yes, he phoned he'd be right over. 

Benny. That settles it, Oppy! We'll stay. 
(Children s voices heard laughing and jeering off 

e. u. l. It is kept up until Coombs passes near 

window, followed by a crowd of children, yelling 

and shouting.) 

Doeay. (surprised and curious) Hello, what's 



24 YOUNG AMEKICA 

that? (runs to rear window. Benny puts bag on 
floor up R. Mks. D. crosses to door l.) 

Coombs, (loudly, off r.u.) I've got you this 
time, you little imps ! 

Mrs. D. Mercy ! What on earth ! 

Benny. That sounds like Billy now. 

Doray. (loohing out rear window) It is Billy. 

Benny. I'll bet he's having trouble with those 
kids again. 

Mrs. D. Poor children. 

Doray. Poor Billy. (Coombs passes rear win- 
dow from n., leading Patsy Mc Quire by the arm on 
one side of him, and Cassie McGuire by the arm on 
the other side. The children are tugging back as 
Coombs pulls them along. A crowd of children are 
following) 

Patsy, (as they pass in front -0/ rear window) 
Le' me go ! 

Cassie. We didn't do it! 

Children. Let 'em go ! They didn't do it ! Let 
'em go ! 

Cassie. Leave us go, Mister ! 

Patsy. We didn't do it, honest we didn't! 

Coombs, (now off l.) Open the door! 

Benny. Great Scott, he's bringing them in here. 
(Mrs. Doray opens door. Coombs enters with 
Patsy and Cassie, and the gang of children crowd 
into door. Mrs. Doray motions them to leave room. 
The gang exits but Tommy, a cute boy of five remains. 
Coombs is a little man of forty, crotchety, pepperish, 
quick-tempered, but likeable. He has a kind heart, 
but seldom shows it. He wears a business suit, is 
bareheaded, and very angry. Mrs. Doray closes the 
door) 

Coombs, (entering with Patsy and Cassie) 
I've caught 'em at last, Jack. Here they are — Mrs. 



YOUNG AMEEICA 25 

McGuire's two little angels. Look at them ! (now 
at c.) 

Patsy, (to Coombs on his right.) Le' me go. 

Cassie. We didn't do it. (l. of him) 

Doeay. (smiling) What's the matter, Billy, 
were they trying to rob yon ? 

Coombs, (indignant) No, they stretched a wire 
across the sidewalk and I fell over it. (so angry that 
he is funny) And I darn near broke my neck! 
(Benny and Doeay laugh, Mes. Doeay smiles 
broadly) 

Coombs, (furiously sarcastic, as he glares at 
Benny) Funny, isn't it? (Patsy and Cassie 
giggle at Coombs' anger. Coombs looks at them) 
Oh, yon think it's funny, too, eh? Well, I'll just 
waltz you down to the police station, my young 
friends. 

Mes. D. Oh, now, Me. Coombs ! (Coombs pauses 
and looks other. She smiles and goes to him) You 
surely wouldn't have these children arrested. (Takes 
Tommy and Cassie by the hands) 

Benny. Of course not! (takes Patsy from 
Coombs) 

Mes. D. (coming down to rocking chair with 
Patsy and Tommy) The way to handle children is 
thru kindness. 

Benny, (crossing with Patsy) Absolutely! 

Coombs. They didn't show me any kindness when 
I fell over that wire. They laughed at me ! 

Patsy. We didn't put that wire there, did we, 
Cassie ? 

Cassie. No. 

Coombs, (angrily to Patsy) Who did? (to 
Cassie) Art Simpson? (Patsy pantomimes Cas- 
sie to say "Yes." Patsy nods his head and shakes 
his fist at her) 



2G YOUNG AMEEICA 

Cassie. Yes. 

Mrs. D. Poor Arthur! (sits in rocker — Cassie 
above her, Tommy below) 

Coombs. What ? 

Mrs. D. That poor boy's blamed for everything. 

Coombs. He should be. He is to blame for 
everything that's mean and devilish. The little bum. 

Doray. (to Cassie) Mr. Eeuter says that you 
and Patsy threw stones at Mr. Wilson's grocery store. 

Cassie. We did not. We just threw some dirt. 

Patsy, (to Doray) Jim Eeuter better keep his 
nose out of our business. 

Coombs. What is your business? 

Patsy. That's my business. 

Mrs. D. Why did you throw dirt at Mr. Wilson's 
grocery store? 

Cassie. Aw, we asked him to give us a piece of 
cake and he said he'd wallop us in the jaw. 

Mrs. D. Dear, dear, dear ! 

Patsy. If he ever wallops her in the jaw I'll bust 
him in the nose. 

Doray. My but you're a bad man, aren't you ? 

Tommy. You bet he is ! 

Cassie. Patsy hit a boy twice his size the other 
day, didn't you Patsy ? 

Patsy. You bet you. 

Coombs. Say, a rough guy like you ought to be 
locked up. 

Cassie. (pulling his coat) Oh, please mister, 
don't lock him up, he'll be good, (to Patsy.) 
Won't you Patsy? 

Patsy. Sure. 

Coombs. Well, I'll let you go this time. But look 
out, next time I'll have you sent to jail for life. 

Patsy, (taking Cassie's and Tommy's hands) 
Come on kids, let's beat it. (they skip up L.) 



YOUNG AMEEICA 27 

Mrs. D. Children, (the kids pause. Mrs. D. 
goes to them) How do you know it was Arthur 
Simpson who strung the wire that Mr. Coombs fell 
over? 

Cassie. (hesitates. She is lying) 'Cause — 
'cause we seed him do it. Didn't we, Patsy ? 

Patsy. Sure we did. (crosses and opens door) 

Coombs, (savagely, as he paces across the room) 
Jack, if I ever catch that kid — OUCH ! (stops, puts 
hand on his hip and screws up his face in pain. 
Patsy and Cassie giggle at him) 

Mrs. D. (to Coombs, sympathetically) Oh ! 

Doray. Are you hurt? 

Benny. Yes, Billy, are you ? 

Coombs, (sarcastically) No, I'm dancing the 
Lame Duck! 

Patsy, (impishly) Good 'nun 2 for you, you big 
toad! 

Coombs, (savagely to Patsy) What! (Patsy, 
Cassie and Tommy run off l. laughing) Wait till 
I get you again, you little sardines ! 

Cassie. (saucily; as she and Patsy and Tommy 
appear at rear window outside) We put the wire 
acrost th ? sidewalk, and we'll do it again, you big 
horse-fly. 

Cdombs. (dashes toward rear window. Cassie 
screams and the three kids run off R. Coombs stops 
short, holding hand to his hip; in pain, but funny) 
! Oooooooo ! Horsefly ! i 

Doray. Is there anything we can do to help you, 
Billy? 

Coombs Yes, 'phone Jim Eeuter to arrest Art 
Simpson and chuck him in jail, (comes down c.) 

Mrs. D. (crossing to rocking-chair) Arthur will 
probably be in jail soon enough without any of us 
sending him there. 



28 YOUNG AMEEICA 



\ 



Coombs. So he ought to be. That kid is a born 
criminal and the sooner he's behind the bars the 
better. 

Doeay. (at buffet getting playing cards) What 
do you want to play, Billy, pitch or pinochle? 
(Benny gets rooster bag from chair) 

Coombs. Eum. 

Doeay. (to Benny as Coombs sits l. of table 
Mrs. Doeay begins to sew) How does that suit you, 
Benny ? 

Benny, (going to second table) Fine! Any- 
thing that suits Billy suits me. (puts rooster bag on 
table) But before we begin the game, Billy, I have 
something here I want to show you. 

Coombs. I'm in no mood to see it. 

Benny, (l. of table r.) You will be after you 
see it. (as he unfastens clasp of bag) This bag 
contains the greatest little joy-bringer that ever 
smiled on a terrestrial hemisphere. 

Coombs. I don't believe it. 

BennY. I'm going to convince you. (exhibits 
rooster bag) It's a_ thorough-bred Plymouth Eock 
rooster. 

Coombs, (disgusted) Suffering Caesar! What 
are you doing with that thing in the house? 

Benny, (slapping Coombs on the bach) Billy, 
there's a fortune in this little fowl, and I want you 
to be my partner in the chicken business. 

Coombs. I wouldn't be your partner in any bus- 
iness. 

Benny. But why? 

Coombs. You're always grinning! You're so 
darn good-natured you make me tired, (peevishly, 
to Doeay) Say, are we going to play cards, or are 
we not? (Benny puts rooster bag on chair up e. 
door bell rings) 



YOUNG AMEEICA 29 

Coombs. Come in. (to Mrs. Doray) Excuse me, 
I thought I was home. 

Eomney. (enters from l.) Hello, everybody! 

(Eomney is an amiable Romeo hoy of 22, typically 

suburban) 

Doray. (rising) Hello, Eomney ! Just in time 
for a good game. Draw up a chair and join us. 

Benny, (at second table, where lie is placing 
rooster bag) Yes, Eomney, join us. 

Eomney. Thank you, boys, but I haven't time this 
evening. 

Coombs, (brusquely) Come on, sit down. You 
don't have to see that girl of yours every night. 

Eomney. No, but — 

Coombs. Oh, I know what you're going to say ; you 
don't have to but you want to. We used to be that 
way. (to Doray and Benny, all three men are now 
seated at table) Didn't we, boys? (To Eomney) Six 
months before we were married we couldn't see 
enough of our wives. Six months after we were 
married — (As "Benny kicks his leg under the table) 
Ouch! Damn! (Apologetically, to Mrs. D.) I beg 
your pardon. (To Benny — under his breath) What's 
the idea — on the corn like that? 

Eomney. Now, Billy, if you're through talking, 
I'll explain why I dropped in here this evening. 

Coombs. (Testily) Go on — explain — I won't stop 
you. (Instantly — to Doray) Whose play is it? 

Doray. Yours. 

Coombs. All right. (Slaps card on table) There 
you are. Jump on it and tear it to pieces. ( Turns to 
Eomney) Go on, what are you waiting for? 

Benny. (Drily, as he plays cards) He's waiting 
for you to breathe, Billy. 

Coombs. (To Eomney) All right — I'm breathing 
now — shoot it out ! 



30 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Eomney. (The three men play cards during the 
following) What are you boys planning to do on 
Decoration Day? 

Coombs. Sleep. 

Eomney. Very well, then you're accounted for. 
(To Doeay) Jack, what are you going to do? 

Doeay. Oh, nothing in particular. Late break- 
fast, early dinner, and then go to the ball game. 

Eomney. (smiling) I have a better scheme than 
that. 

Coombs, (satirically) Yes, and if I remember 
rightly, you had a better scheme last Decoration Day, 
too. A croquet tournament — the men against the 
women. 

Mes. D. (Smiling) And if I remember rightly, 
the women won, didn't they ? 

Coombs. Yes, and they've been cackling over it 
ever since. 

Benny. (Defending the women) Why shouldn't 
they cackle? 

Coombs. (To Benny, disgusted and disgruntled) 
Oh, say ! 

Doeay. What is your scheme, Eomney ? 

Eomney. Well, I thought it might be fun to go 
fishing. 

Coombs. (Ironically) Might is right. I've never 
had any fun yet fishing. 

Benny. I have. 

Doeay. So have I. 

Eomney. (To Benny and Doeay) Then you'll 
go? 

Benny. Where? 

Eomney. Bass Lake. 

Coombs. (Cynically) Bass Lake! There hasn't 
been a fish there big enough to eat since George 
Washington crossed the Ddeware and Lackawanna. 



YOUNG AMEEICA 31 

Doray. (to Eomney, showing interest) Are they 
biting well? 

Eomney. Fine! Marjorie's father caught six 
beauties yesterday. 

Benny. (Delighted) Six in less than an hour ! 

Doray. That settles it. I know where I'm going 
to spend Decoration Day. 

Benny. Oh, you black bass ! (he and Doray pan- 
tomime reeling a fish) 

Coombs. (Sarcastically to Benny) Oh, you poor 
weakling. There aren't any black bass or any other 
kind of bass in Bass Lake. That's why they call it 
Bass Lake — there's no bass there. (Benny, who has 
risen, sits down disgusted.) 

Eomney. (To Doray) Well, will you go? 

Doray. You bet I will! 

Eomney. Good. Then we'll just have a nice little 
party of six. 

Doray and Benny. (Puzzled) Six? 

Coombs. Who are the other two? 

Eomney. (To Coombs) The other three. (To 
Doray) Mrs. Doray. (to Benny) Mrs.* King — 
and Marjorie. 

Doray and Benny. Oh ! (Disappointed) 

Coombs. (Sensitively) Where am I coming in? 

Eomney. I didn't know you were. 

Coombs. (Peeved) All right. I thought maybe 
you wanted me. 

Eomney. We do, but 

Coombs. (Interrupting, peeved, ironical) Yes, you 

do, but (Flings cards on table, shoves chair bach, 

rises and starts towards l. i. Benny and Doray 
jump up and follow him.) 

Benny. (Laying his hand on Coombs' arm) Now, 
Billy, don't get — 



32 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Doray. (Interrupting) Eomney would have 
invited you. Billy, but you said you were going to 
sleep. 

Eomney. Yes, Billy, you said you were going 
to— 

Coombs. (Tersely) I know I said it, but Fve 
changed my mind. 

Benny. Bully! (Goes back of table and resumes 
seat at r. of table) 

Eomney. (Delighted) Now we'll have a nice little 
party of eight. 

Coombs. (Curious and disturbed) Eight? 

Eomney. Yes. We six and you and Mrs. Coombs. 

Coombs. Oh! are you going to take her along? 

Eomney. Certainly. (Coombs betrays his disap- 
pointment) Of course, if you don't want — 

Coombs. (Hopelessly, as he picks up his cards) 
All right, I don't care — take her. 

Doray. Why certainly, we'll be glad to have her. 

Mrs. D. Well, I should say so. 

Coombs. (to Mrs. Doray; as if apologizing) It 
isn't my wife I object to, it's Pinto. 

Mrs. D. (Puzzled) Pinto? 

Coombs. Yes, Pinto — a little good-for-nothing, 
stub-nose, long-haired, fuzzy-faced, egotistical, cow- 
ardly, squeaky-voiced poodle dog. 

Benny. Where did you get him? 

Coombs. I didn't — he was sent to us. 

Doray. Who did it? 

Coombs. My wife's mother — express collect — and 
a case of dog medicine to doctor him with. (To Mrs. 
Doray, as he rises) Excuse me, Mrs. Doray, but 
every time I think of. that confounded poodle, it 
makes me so mad that I've simply got to get up and 
walk the floor, (paces rapidly, but limpingly back 
and forth) No man likes dogs more than I do, that is, 



YOUNG AMEEICA 33 

dogs that are dogs — Mastiffs, St. Bernards, New- 
foundlands, Collies, Spaniels, Boston Bulls, English 
Bulls, Fox Terriers, Skye Terriers, Pointers, Setters, 
Stag hounds, Greyhounds, Dashhounds, Pot hounds, 
Fish hounds, and all the other kinds of hounds — but 
a 14-oz. toy poodle that's all fluff and feathers and 
has a falsetto bark, (pauses a moment) That kind 
of dog isn't a dog — he's a chorus girl's companion. 
(goes over r. to above his chair r. of table) 

Dokat. When did Pinto arrive? 

Coombs. Day before yesterday, and there hasn't 
been a peaceful moment in our house since. The min- 
ute he stops whining or barking or snoring, my wife 
begins nagging me to give him a dog biscuit, or a 
bath or take him out for some exercise or fetch him 
back and shake some bug dust on him. Not only that 
— at night he sleeps in a cradle right next to my 
bed! And if he cries in the night I've got to get 
up and rock him. 

Romney. Well, Billy, you can take Pinto with you. 

Coombs. Aw, Pinto. 

Roomay. Anyhow it's settled, isn't it, that eight 
of us will spend Decoration Day at Bass Lake? 

Doray. You bet you. 

Benny. And the earlier we start the longer we 
can fish. 

Romney. How does 7 o'clock strike you? 

Benny. Fine ! 

Coombs. Make it 9. 

Doray. Compromise at 8. 

Romney. "Eight it is. 

Doray. And everybody ready on the minute. 

Romney. You bet ! 

Coombs. (Sarcastically) How are we going to get 
there — walk? 

Romney. A friend of mine has offered to lend me 



34 YOUNG AMERICA 

his car. (To Doray) I'm sorry, Jack, but I must 
be hurrying along. Good- night (Doray and Mrs. 
Doray accompany him to l. d.) 

Doray. Good night, Eomney. 

Romney. Good night, Mrs. Doray. So long, 
Benny. Good night, Billy, (as he gets near L. 
door) Marjorie will be tickled to death when I tell 
her where we're going and what we're going to do. 
She simply loves to fish. Good night, Billy. 
(Exits L.) 

Coombs. Good night! (After Romney's exit 
Doray crosses to table; Mrs.-D. in rocker) Rom- 
ney's a nice boy, but he's like everyone else when 
they're in love — a public nuisance. 

Benny. I don't agree with you, Billy. I don't 
think he's a public nuisance. 

Coombs. I do! The idea of his coming in here 
and breaking up a perfectly good game of rum 
simply to make us go clear out to Bass Lake so that 
he and his girl can go fishing together. 

Mrs. Doray. (Seated in rocker now) Maybe Mar- 
jorie likes fish. 

Coombs. All right, if she's so dog-gone fond of 
fish why don't he take her down to the fish market 
and buy her one? 

Doray. (as they pick up cards) Whose play is it? 

Coombs. Hanged if I know. 

Benny. It's your play Jack. 

(Tick-tack, ready) 

Doray. Is it? (the men play. Mrs. D. hums 
and sews. Pause. A tick tack is heard on l. win- 
dow. The men stop and listen. Comedy Pause) 

Benny. What's that? 

Doray. It sounds like a tick tack. (The noise con- 
tinues) (The men listen) 



YOUNG AMERICA 35 

Coombs. It is a tick tack. (Jumps to his feet. 
Shrill whistles off L.) Art Simpson and his gang are 
here! (Excitedly) I'm going to catch that kid if its 
the last act of my life! (rises and starts angrily 
toward l. D.) (Phone rings.) 

Doeay. prises and follows Coombs towards l. d.) 
And I'm going to help you. 
. Benny. Now hold on, Boys ! 

Doeay. Answer the phone, Billy. 

Coombs, (in phone) Hello! Mr. King? (to 
Benny) It's for yon. 

Benny. Me? Who can be phoning me here? 
(takes up receiver in l. hand; transmitter in k. 
hand) Hello! Burglars? 

Coombs, Doeay and Mes. D. Burglars ! 

Benny, (in phone) I see ! . . . All right, dear, 
just crawl under the bed and keep still, (hangs up 
receiver) 

Doeay. (to Benny) What's the idea? 

Benny. Those boys are over at my house, too. 
(laughing) 

Coombs. Send for the police. 

Benny. Not on your life ! They've broken up a 
game of bridge that's been going on in my house all 
day. (loud whistle off l.) 

Coombs. There they are again ! 

Doeay. Come on, Billy! 

Mes. D. Wait ! Let me deal with the boys, 

Doeay. Now, Edith 

Mes. D. I'll get them to go away. 

Coombs, (cynically) How? 

Doeay. Yes, Edie, how? 

Mes. D. By giving them each a nice big piece 
of cocoanut pie. 

Benny. Bully ! 



36 YOUNG AMEKICA 

Coombs. I'll give them something stronger than 
pie. (starts for l. door) 

Benny. Just a moment, Billy. (Coombs stops. 
To Mrs. Dokat) I will take charge of the boys, 
Mrs. Doray. 

Mrs. D. Thank you, Benny, but 

Benny, (smiling wisely. To Coombs) I un- 
derstand boys perfectly and I know exactly how to 
handle them. 

Coombs, (caustically) So do I! Come on, 
Jack. We'll handle them! (starts towards l. d.) 

Doray. (following) You bet we will. (Benny 
stops Coombs) 

Benny, (wisely to Coombs) Children should be 
ruled by kindness, Billy, not by force, (as he goes 
to l. door) I shall speak to them, (exits l.) 

Mrs. D. (calls off to Benny) Tell them to 
come in and have some cocoanut pie. 

Doray. (flabbergasted) Edith! 

Mrs. D. . (to Doray) There's a cocoanut pie in 
the pantry, dear, won't you please — 

Doray. Now look here, Edie 

Mrs. D. Very well, I'll get it myself, (starts 
for R. u.) 

Doray. (stopping her) I'll get it, Edie, but I 
think you're making a mistake. 

Coombs. Of course she is ! What that kid needs 
is a club. 

Boys, (off stage) Soak him! That's the stuff! 
Soak him ! Soak him ! 

Mrs. D. Mercy! 

< Doray. s (as Mrs. Doray rushes up to l.) There 
you are' 

, Coombs. " See, what did I tell you ! 

Mrs. D. (horrified at what she sees) Oh! 
[(pandemonium outside; children laughing and jeer- 



YOUNG AMEEICA 37 

ing and whistling. Benny enters, his shoulders 
covered tvith flour) 

Coombs, (cynically cordial) Greetings, Andro- 
cles! 

Benny. Shut up! (slams the door shut) 

Mbs. D. (staring at Benny.) Did those boys 
do that? 

Benny, (coming down c.) They did! They 
bombarded me with flour bombs. 

Doray. Flour bombs ! 

Benny. Yes. (exhibiting small paper bag filled 
with flour and tied at one end with piece of string) 
Here's one. The first one they flung. 

Doray. (taking the bomb) The ingenious little 
devils ! 

Coombs, (looking at the bomb) Art Simpson 
made that. Let me see it. (takes the bomb, looks 
at it and, during following, puts it on telephone 
table) 

Doray. (playfully satirical, to Mrs. Doray) 
Now shall I bring the pie, dear ? 

Mrs. D. Yes. (starts l.) 

Benny, (to Doray who is dazed by his wife's 
reply) Bring a horse whip. 

Coombs, (to Benny) Shake! 

Mrs. D. Jack, get that pie ! 

Doray. (exiting pantry) Oh, Edie 

Mrs. D. (kindly — as she exits l.) Boys, oh 
boys! 

Coombs, (starting after Mrs. Doray) Can you 
beat that! (shrill whistle off l.) 

Mrs. D. '(off stage l.) Don't run, I won't hurt 
you! 

Boys, (off stage l.) Sure you won't. You can't 
catch us ! 

Coombs. Hear that? I'll teach him to insult a 



38 YOUNG AMERICA 

woman! The impudent little puppy! (grabs 
Benny's hat from window-seat and rushes off l.) 

Mrs. D. (off stage l.) Mr. Coombs, STOP! 
Mr. Coombs! 

Boys, (off l.) Look out, here comes the old 
buck ! (a gang dash past rear window from L. to R. 
going at full speed, yelling, shouting and whistling. 
As they dash past the window) Here he comes ! 
Beat it, beat it! (as the boys get out of sight 
Coombs comes running along from d. As he gets off 
r. a boy yells) There he is ! Soak him, soak him ! 
That's the stuff ! Soak him again ! Soak him again ! 
(Benny rushes up to rean window) 

Doray. (entering from R. u. with pie) What's 
up? 

Benny. They're soaking Billy. 

Doray. The deuce they are ! (as he rushes down 
to R. table and puts pie on it) Stay with 'em, Billy, 
stay with 'em! 

Benny, (standing on window seat) Come here, 
Billy! Come here! Come here! (Doray puts pie 
on table and runs to window. Coombs is now in 
front of window and the men are trying to pull him 
in. The flour bombs are raining upon them fftom r. 
side of the stage. Both men are fighting blindly to 
ward off the bombs) 

Mrs. D. (enters from l.) What on earth! (the 
kids are now in front of the window, peppering the 
men with flour bombs) 

Benny and Doray. (to Coombs) Quick! Pull 
him in! Come in, Billy! Hurry! Hurry! (etc., 
etc. They pull Coombs thru window into room) 

Mrs. D. Benny, shut the window! (Benny and 
Doray drive the children away from the window 
then close the windows quickly, and look at 
Coombs, who is a mass of flour from head to foot) 



YOUNG AMEKICA 



39 



Coombs, (coming down c.) Jack, I was never 
so near death in my life. 



Doray. 
Benny. 

Coombs. 

DOKAY. 

Coombs. 
thugs ! 
Mrs. D. 
Doray. 



(coming down) Yon do look pale, Billy. 

(coming down) You've got on my hat. 

How did I get that on? 
Are you hurt? 

No, but it wasn't their fault, the little 



Jack, get the whisk broom. 
All right, Edie. (goes to buffet and 
opens drawer) 

Coombs. A whisk broom won't do any good. I'm 
full of the stuff. 

Mrs. D. (to Doray) Never mind the broom, 
dear, use the vacuum cleaner. 

Doray. That's a good idea! (hands Benny the 
whisk broom taken from buffet drawer, then hastens 
to vacuum cleaner, and during the following removes 
cleaning rod from hose, puts brush on hose and 
carries vacuum cleaner over to Mrs. Doray. Coombs 
begins wiping his face with his handkerchief. Benny 
begins brushing himself) 

Mrs. D. (sympathetically) I'm sorry this hap- 
pened, boys. 

Coombs, (satirically) Thanks. 

Mrs. D. (with a tolerant little smile such as a 
mother gives a child) Of course you know you men 
have no one but yourselves to blame for this. 

Coombs and Benny. What! 

Mrs. D. You realize that it is all your own fault ? 

Coombs, (flabbergasted) OUE fault! 

Mrs. D. (smiling) Surely! 

Benny. What do you know about that, Jack ? 

Doray. (coming downstage) About what? 

Coombs. Your wife blames us for that fight with 
the kids. (Mrs. D. begins cleaning Coombs' clothes 



40 YOUNG AMERICA 

with the vacuum cleaner. He turns back to audi- 
ence; she cleans his coat, then runs the cleaning 
brush over his hair. Comedy business by Coombs 
during this scene. Doeay is cleaning Benny with 
whisk broom. The following lines are spoken as they 
clean up) 

Doeay. What you say about the boys of this town 
is all very true, Edie, but you must remember they 
are not our boys. 

Benny. Of course they aren't. 

Coombs. Let their parents raise them. 

Mrs. D. Arthur Simpson hasn't any parents. 

Doeay. He has an aunt. 

Benny. Why doesn't she look after him? 

Mes. D. She has children of her own — and be- 
sides, she doesn't like the boy. 

Doeay. Can you blame her ? 

Coombs. The ornery little rat! 

Benny. Nobody likes him. 

Mes. D. That is just the trouble — nobody likes 
him. He is a poor, friendless, homeless little orphan 
and everybody is against him. 

Coombs. Why shouldn't they be against him? 

Doeay. He's always doing something mean. 

Mes. D. But think what he will be when he grows 
up! 

Benny. He isn't worth thinking about. 

Mes. D. If that boy thinks that no one likes him 
he will become a mean, sour, cynical man. 

Doeay. Oh, fiddlesticks! 

Coombs Look at me ! No one liked me when I 
was a boy. Am I sour ? Am I cynical ? No, sir ! I 
tell you, Mr. Doray, it isn't the way we're treated 
that counts — it's the stuff that's in us — in us! (to 
Doray an d Benny) Isn't that right, boys? (Coombs 
is now cleaned and Doeay stops the vacuum cleaner 



YOUNG AMEEICA 41 

motor and carries it bach to its place. During 
following the men return to table and resume card 
game. Mrs. Doray returns to rocking chair and 
resumes sewing) 

Benny. Absolutely ! 

Doray. Yes, sir-ee Bob ! 

Mrs. D. There's good stuff in Arthur Simpson. 

Coombs. Who says so? 

Mrs. D. I do. His mother used to work for my 
mother. She was our cook for years and years and 
we were very fond of her. She was a good woman. 

Doray. Then why hasn't the boy amounted to 
something, dear? 

Mrs. D. He hasn't had a chance. 

Coombs. Chance poppycock! 

Benny. He's had as much chance as other boys. 

Doray. Of course he has. 

Coombs. The kid hasn't got it in him, that's all. 

Mrs. D. How do you know he hasn't? 

Coombs, (not understanding) Eh? 

Mrs D. What proof have you that Arthur Simp- 
son is not made of good stuff ? 

Coombs. The best proof in the world ! 

Mrs. D. What is it? 

Coombs. He steals chickens — and I claim that 
anyone who will steal a poor, innocent, helpless, 
defenseless chicken is capable of doing anything. 
- Mrs D. How do you know he steals chickens ? 

Coombs. Because he stole some of mine. 

Mrs. D. How do you know it was he? 

Coombs. Jack, if the women of this state ever 
get the vote you want to put your wife up for Dis- 
trict Attorney, (to Mrs. D.) When it comes to 
cross examination, you have all the lawyers of the' 
world lashed to the mast. 

Benny. If you ever are up for office, Mrs. Doray, 



42 YOUNG AMEEICA 

I know one vote you'll get. {picks up cocoanut pie) 

Mrs. D. Thank you, Benny. 

Benny. Lend me your knife, Jack. 

Coombs. Here, use mine. I feel just like eating 
a piece of that pie myself, {takes knife from pocket 
and offers it to Benny) 

Mrs. D. {rising) Never mind, I will get a knife 
and some plates fnom the kitchen, {going to kitchen 
door) But remember, Mr. Coombs, the boys of to- 
day are the men of tomorrow, {exit) 

Coombs. Say, Jack, what's getting into your wife 
anyway ? 

Doray. Never you mind about my wife — she's all 
right. 

Coombs. She didn't used to talk that way. Has 
she been reading a lot of this Ben Lindsay junk? 

Benny. You mean the 

Coombs. Aw, this juvenile court truck — con- 
servation of children — being a big brother to some 
dirty little brat that'll turn around and rob you the 
first chance he gets and then swat you back of the 
head with a brick-bat. That kind of tommyrot looks 
nice in print — makes fine reading for the women — 
but you take it from me, Jack, if a man's wife reads 
that junk and takes it seriously, it's going to make 
the grand old tune of Home Sweet Home sound like 
a battle song. (Benny and Doray laugh) You 
don't believe me, eh? Well, it's the truth just the 
same. That's why every time my wife asks me to 
get her something to read I buy her a popular novel 
— something interesting but light— light ! 

Doray. It's your play, {men resume playing) 

{After count of five, chickens off rear squawk, loud 
and as if terrified) 

Coombs. Listen! {rises and goes l.) Hear that? 



YOUNG AMEEICA 43 

They're stealing your chickens! Jack! They're 
stealing your chickens ! 

Doray. (rises, also Benny) My God ! and 
they're just big enough to eat! (goes upstage L.) 

Benny. Shall I call Eeuter ? 

Coombs. Hang Eeuter! We'll catch them our- 
selves. 

Doray. Come on, Billy! (goes l.) 

Coombs, (to Benny) You stay here and keep 
Mrs. Doray from tipping them off. 

Benny. But I want to 

Doray. Never mind what you want. If my wife 

finds out we are after those kids . (to Coombs) 

You go that way — (points to L. door) — and I'll go 
this, (points to window L.) Then one of us is 
sure to catch them. 

Coombs. All right, hurry, (exits l. door. Doray 
exits thru L. window) 

Mrs. D. (enters from kitchen with knife and 
plates) My goodness, what's all that noise? 

Benny. It sounds like the chickens. 

Mrs. King, (enters from l. followed by Mar- 
jorie. They dash on) Fori Heaven's sake, Benny! 

Benny. Now what's happened? 

Mrs. King. The burglars are stealing our 
chickens ! 

Benny. Why didn't you phone? (grabs chicken 
bag) 

Mrs. K. I did, hours ago, and you wouldn't come. 

Benny. You never mentioned the chickens. You 
said the burglars were in the house, (grabs hat and 
exits l.) 

Mrs. K. The idea! Benny telling me to crawl 
under the bed ! What he needs is a good talking to, 
and he's going to get it. (starts L.) Come on 
Marjie, I'll talk to him ! 



44 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Coombs, (off stage) There he goes, Jack, there 
he goes ! Catch him, catch him ! 

Mrs. D. Oh ! 

Marjorie. What is it? 

Coombs, (off stage) Hold him, Jack, hold him ! 
(bedlam off stage) 

Mrs. K. (as Mrs. D. runs to window and throws 
it open) What is it? 

Marjorie. What's the matter? 

Mrs. D. Mr. Coombs! Mr. Coombs! (exits l.) 

Mrs. King. Oh, Marjorie, I never spent such a 
night in my life! 

Marjorie. Neither did I ! 

Mrs. K. Phone for the police and ask «them to 
take us home ! I won't venture out of this house 
without an officer on each side of me and two behind ! 

Coombs, (off stage l.) No, you don't, you little 
devil ! We caught you his time and we're going to 
keep you. 

Marjorie. What on earth — — ! 

Coombs, (off stage) Look out for the dog, Jack ! 
Kick him! (enters from l. holding Art. Doray 
enters with Coombs, each man has hold of one of 
Art's arms. Mrs. Doray follows) Come on here, 
you little thief. I'll teach you to steal chickens. 

Doray. (at c. front) There you are, Edie — I 
hope you believe now that everything his aunt said 
about him was true. There's your little Lord 
Fauntleroy ! 

Mrs. D. Mr. Coombs, don't handle him so 
roughly. 

Coombs. No, kiss him, I suppose, (to J.RT.) 
You dear little child, I'll kiss you! (to Doray) 
Phone for Jim Eeuter. He's the man to take charge 
of this little gangster. 



YOUNG AMERICA 45 

Mrs. D. Mr. Coombs will you please take your 
hands off that boy ? 

Coombs. I'll take my hands off him, but I'll keep 
my eyes on him. (shoves Art away from him to R.) 

Doray. (in phone) Hello, give me the police 
station, please. 

Mrs. D. (up to Doray) Jack, please don't call 
the police, — please don't. 

Coombs, (up to r. of Doray) We caught him 
dead to rights — rooster in one hand and hen in the 
other, (to Doray) Send for a cop and send for 
him quick. 

Doray. (in phone) Hello Police station? 

Mrs. D. Don't Jack, please don't ! 

Doray. (in phone) Send an officer to 97 Or- 
chard Street at once. 

Marjorie. Tell them to send two — one for us. 

Mrs. King. Yes, Jack, make it two. We need 
one — make it two. Make it two ! 

Doray. Sh! Sh! (in phone) 97 Orchard 
Street. . . . We've caught a thief. 

Mrs. K. Make it two, Jack, make it two. 

Doray. Sh! (in phone) And say chief, make 
it two — one for the thief and one for my neighbors. 
(hangs up receiver) 

Coombs, (to Art) Well, my young friend, your 
career as a criminal is just about ended. 

Mrs. D. You poor child! (to Coombs) You 
mean his career as a criminal is just about to begin. 

Art. (quickly and softly — close to Mrs. Doray) 
I didn't know they were your chickens, Mrs. Doray. 

Mrs. D. (sympathetically) I'm awful sorry! 
(turns to vjomen) Won't you be seated? 

Doray. (brings chair from 7.) Here you are, 
Marjorie. (Marjorie and Mrs. K. sit l.) 






46 YOUNG AMERICA 

Coombs, (to Art) Sit down! (pushes him 
into chair) 

Mrs. D. Mr. Coombs, I insist that yon treat that 
boy with 

Coombs. He has it coming to him and he's going 
to get it — and he's going to get it strong, (quickly 
to Art. ) Say, what did yon mean by stretching that 
wire across the sidewalk ? 

Art. What wire? 

Coombs. Don't play innocent — yon know what 
wire! 

Mrs. D. Mr. Coombs ! 

Doray. (picking up flour bomb from telephone 
table and coming down to Art) _And I don't sup- 
pose yon know what this is, either? 

Art. No, what is it? 

Coombs (sarcastically) "What is it!" 

Mrs. D. (as Doray takes flour bomb back to 
table) Arthur — (he looks up at her) Would you 
like a piece of cocoanut pie? 

Doray. Oh ! ( turns away, disgusted) 

Coombs. Now look here, Mrs. Doray ! 

Mrs. D. Billy Coombs, if you please ! (to Art) 
You like pie, don't you ? 

Art. Yeh. 

Coombs. If you can't talk like a gentleman keep 
your mouth shut. And don't look at me in that tone 
of voice, understand. (Art makes a break for door 
l.) Stop him, Jack, stop him. (Doray at l. d. 
grabs Art) 

Mrs. D. Don't hurt him, Jack, don't hurt him! 

Coombs. Jack, take the women outside. I'm 
going to give this kid a darned good licking. (peels 
off his coat) 

Mrs. D. If Jack takes anyone outside, Mr. 
Coombs, it will be you. 



YOTJNG AMERICA 47 

Coombs. That's right, blame it on me. 

Mrs. D. Here, Arthur. Here's your piece of pie. 
(hands Art the pie) Would you like a glass of 
milk? 

Art. Yes, ma'am ! (dog harks off stage l.) (To 
Doray) Open that door! 

Doray. Why? 

Art. I want Jasper. 

Coombs. Who's Jasper, one of your gang? 

Art. I ain't got no gang. 

Mrs. D. Who is Jasper? 

Art. My dog. (to Doray as the dog barks again) 
Open that door, will you? Can't you hear him call- 
ing me? 

Mrs. D. I'll let him in. 

Coombs, (as Mrs. D. goes to door) Yes, let 
him in. That dog tried to bite me when we were 
catching this kid. I'm going to give him a good 
kick in the jaw. 

Art. If you ever kick my dog I'll kill you. 

Marjorie. (crossing to R. of table) My good- 
ness! 

Mrs. K. (crossing after Marjorie) Gracious! 

Coombs, (to Mrs. Doray) Now what kind of 
stuff do you think the little fellow is made of, Mrs. 
Doray ? 

Mrs. K. What would your mother think if she 
heard you say this ? 

Art. I ain't got no mother. 

Marjorie. Well, what would your father think ? 

Art. I ain't got no father. 

Doray. (crossing toward him from upper left) 
Well, you've got an aunt — what would she say? 

Art. Say, what is this — the third degree? (dog 
barks. Mrs. D. opens door; the Dog enters) Hello 
Jasper! (offers him the pie) Here's what I called 



48 YOUNG AMERICA 

you in for, a nice big hunk of cocoanut pie. (patrol 
effect L.) Eat it quick, the cops are coming. Don't 
be afraid of them guys; I won't let them hurt 
you. You ain't hurt, are you? (to Coombs and 
Doeay) Say did any of you guys hurt my dog 
when he was tryin' to help me get away? Did you? 
Did you? (enter Jim Reuter and Nels Larsen", an- 
other policeman, l. d.) 

Doray. Hello, Jim. 

Renter. Hello, Jack, what's the trouble? (sees 
Art down r. c.) Oh, I see! Little Artie, the boy 
wonder, eh? 

Coombs. Yes, we've got him at last, Jim. 

Reuter. 'Bout time someone was gettin' him. 
(down to Art) Well, what have you got to say for 
yourself? (no reply from Art) The same talka- 
tive little boy he always was. (to Coombs) What 
was he doing? 

Doray. Stealing. 

Reuter (to Doray) What? 

Coombs. Chickens. 

Reuter. (to Coombs) Yours? 

Doray. No, mine. 

Reuter. (to Doray) Who caught him? 

Coombs. We did. 

Reuter. (to Coombs) Where? 

Doray. Coming out of my henhouse. 

Reuter. (to Doray) Did he have any hens on 
him? 

Coombs. You bet he had hens on him. 

Doray. Two, wasn't it, Billy? 

Coombs. Yes. 

Reuter. Fine! Caught with the goods. The 
last time I arrested him the judge let him off — first 
offense. This time he goes to the reform school, (to 
Art) Come on, kiddie, I've had a bunk reserved 



YOUNG AMftEICA 49 

for you ever since you pinched my ice cream 
freezer. 

Art. I didn't pinch your ice cream freezer. 

Eeuter. Don't talk back to an officer. Grab that 
dog, Nels! Come on! (Larsen grabs dog and 
starts to drag him to door. Dog fights him) 

Mrs. D. Mr. Larsen, please, please don't hurt 
that dog. (business until dog is quiet) Mr. Eeuter, 
isn't there some way to prevent this poor boy being 
sent to the reform school ? 

Eeuter. (pausing near l. d.) Prevent it! Re- 
form schools are built for just such little bums as 
him. (to Larsen) Hang on to that dog, Nels ! 

Art. (to Eeuter) What are you going to do 
with that dog? 

Eeuter. His license ain't been paid and I'm 
going to put him in the dog pound, that's what I'm 
going to do with him. Come on. (starts up L. with 
Art.) 

Art. (pulling back and facing Larsen) You 
let my dog alone, he ain't hurting you. 

Eeuter. Come on, come on ! 

Art, (tugs with all his might to get away from 
Eeuter) You let my dog alone. Let him alone. 
(with a violent wrench he frees himself from Eeuter, 
rushes down to Larsen and begins beating him as 
hard as he can with both fists on the bach. Larsen 
holds on to the dog's collar with one hand and with 
the other hand tries to ivard of the boy's blows) Let 
him alone, I tell you! Let him alone! (Eeuter 
grabs Art by the bach of the neck and shakes him) 

Mrs. D. Stop! You stop hurting that boy! 

Eeuter. (without stopping) I'll learn him to 
strike an officer! (drags Art up L.) 

Mrs. D. (tries to pull Eeuter's hand from Art's 



50 YOUNG AMEEICA 

collar) Stop, you're hurting him, you're hurting 
himj Stop, I say! 

Akt. (as Eeuter drags him off stage) Jasper! 
Jasper! I want my dog! I want my dog! (Mar- 
jorie, Mrs. King and Billy Coombs rush out, fol- 
lowed by Eeuter, dragging Art, followed by Mr. 
and Mrs. Doray. Nels Larsen fights and tussles 
with Jasper until they reach the door, then flings 
him back into room, exits quickly, and slams door 
shut. The dog is left on stage alone jumping up at 
door and barking. Patrol effect off rear) 

CUETAIN 

(2nd Curtain. Dog barking. Patrol effect in dis- 
tance) 

(3rd Curtain. Children lined up in front and Com- 
pany at back) 

(4:th Curtain. Company in front and children lined 
up at back) 

(5th Curtain. Jasper alone) 




51 



ACT TWO 

Scene: — The Juvenile Court, 10 a. m. — Two days 
later. 

Two entrances, r. u. door leading to Judge's 
chamber. L. 2 door leading to corridor. 
Right — Judge's bench. It extends up and down 
stage. Below it Clerk's bench upon which are 
two card catalogue filing cases for court records 
for children. At L. of Judge's bench small 
docket for prisoner. At l. of docket, witness 
stand. It is an 18-inch platform with chair on 
it. The docket and witness stand face front. 
Left — three benches for spectators and wit-' 
nesses. They face front and are enclosed within 
a picket railing. Gate with spring lock, near 
left end of front railing. 

AT EISE: — Clerk is seated at his desk; Officer 
Eeuter is talking to him. 

On lower bench and seated in the following or- 
der, from right to left, are Benny King, Mks. 
King, Mrs. Doray, Jack Doray and Billy 
Coombs. 

On second bench, one boy, Mrs. McGuire, Cas- 
sie McGtUire and Patsy McGuire. The right 
end of bench is empty. 

On rear bench are two girls and one lady spec- 
tator. On left end of bench is Nutty Beemer. 

Bailief stands "beside gate, outside the railing. 
After the curtain is up Bailiff drosses to\ 
Eeuter. 
Bailiff. Say, Jim, I want to go out and 'phone 
my wife. 

52 



YOUNG AMEEICA 53 

Eeuter. All right, go ahead. I'll watch 'em for 

you. 

Bailiff. Thanks. 

Eeuter. Don't mention it. It's a pleasure. I'll 
watch 'em, I love to watch 'em. 

Bailiff. I feel like having some pickled tripe for 
dinner and I'm going to 'phone my old woman to 
get some, (crosses l. to door) 

Eeuter. Oh, Clarence, what time do you have 
dinner up at your house? 

Bailiff. Six o'clock. 

Eeuter. I'll be there. 

Bailiff. Sure! Come on! (exits l. d.) 

Mrs. D. Jack, dear, we must not allow that boy 
to be sent to the Eeform School. 

Doray. That is for the Judge to decide, Edie. 

Mrs. D. It will ruin him, Jack, it will ruin his 
whole life. 

Doray. Now, Edith, let's not discuss the matter 
any further. We've been talking about it ever since 
that boy was arrested. 

Mrs. D. If he is sent to the Eeform School,* Jack, 
he will become a confirmed criminal and remain a 
criminal as long as he lives. 

Doray. Nonsense ! 

Mrs. D. It isn't nonsense, dear. Eefdrmatories 
are preparatory schools for the penitentiaries. Ev- 
erybody knows that. 

Patsy, (stands in his chair) Ma, are they 
gonna send Art to th' Eeform School? 

Mrs. McO. Shut up and sit down ! 

Cassie. Well, are they ? 

Mrs. McO. Strut up. 

Mrs. King, (to Mrs. McGuire) Can't you keep 
those children quiet ? 



54 YOUNG AMERICA 

Mrs. McG. You mind your own business and 
let me mind mine! 

Eeuter. Silence, (ad lib between Mrs. McG. 
and Mrs. King quarreling. Silences Mrs. McGuire. 
Then to Mrs. King) Don't get nervous, Mrs. King. 
Sit right where you be. Fll watch her. I love to 
watch her. 

Slavinsky. (from l. and goes o. He is a typical 
vegetable peddler with German accent) 

Mrs. D. Yes, but (talks softly, but earnestly 

to Doray during following) 

Eeuter. (to Slavinsky) No standing in the 
court room. (Slavinsky takes seat on rear bench) 

Coombs (rises) Say, Jack, hold my seat. If I 
stay here another minute I'll blow up. (places his hat 
on chair and goes R. to clerk) Say, when's this trial 
going to begin, anyhow? (looks at his watch) 
We've been here fifteen solid minutes and they haven't 
started yet. I'm in a hurry. — I've got to catch that 
10 :45 express. 

Romney. (entering L. d. with Marjorie) Are 
we late? 

Coombs, (sarcastically) Late? You're an hour 
early. 

Marjorie. (surprised) Really ? 

Mrs. D. (smiling) No, that's only his little way 
of joking. 

Reuter. (to Marjorie as he opens gate) You'll 
find a seat over there, Miss Timmins. (Romney and 
Marjorie seat themselves in second row; they talk 
until seated) 

Coombs, (to Clerk) What are they waiting for, 
anyhow ? 

Clerk. The Judge. 

Coombs. Where is he? Can't we send a boy out 
to find him? I'm in a hurry — ought to have been 



YOUNG AMERICA 55 

at my office hours ago. I didn't want to come to this 
confounded trial in the first place. I knew it'd spoil 
the best part of the day. 

Clerk. Then why didn't you stay home? 

Coombs. They made me come — sent me a sub- 
poena as long as your arm. 

Clerk. Are you interested in some case ? 

Coombs. Interested? I certainly am. I'm the 
chief witness. 

Clerk. What case is it? 
y Coombs. Art Simpson — burglary — stealing 
chickens. 

Mrs. White, (enters from l. leading Washing- 
ton" by the hand. She starts over toward c. and 
stands loohing around. She is a very large negro 
woman. Washington is a little, comical looking 
negro boy of seven) 

Reuter. (to Mrs. White) No standing in the 
court-room, no standing. 

Mrs. White. Yaas, sir. 

Reuter. Sit down. 

Mrs. W. Yaas, sir. (goes to bench l. and sits on 
Coombs' hat. Washington stands l. of her) 

Coombs, (to the Clerk) Say, pardner, isn't 
there some way I can connect up with the Judge weal 
quick ? I've got to get the 10 :45 express. Can't you 
fix it for me? Where's his office? (turns l. and 
sees Mrs. White in his seat, crossing to Doray) 
Jack, why didn't you keep my seat? 

Doray. (confused) Well, you see it was this 
way, Billy— 

Coombs. Never mind explaining. Give me my 
hat. (Doray looks at Mrs. White. Comedy busi- 
ness for Coombs — to Mrs. White) Madam, will 
you kindly rise? 



56 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Mrs. W. Naw sir, I was told to set down. 

Coombs. But you're sitting on my hat. 

Mrs. W. Naw sir, I ain't settin' on no hat. 

Coombs. But I put it there myself. 

Mrs. W. Naw sir, I ain't settin' on no hat at all. 

Coombs, (to Eeuter) Officer, will yon kindly 
ask that woman to rise? 

Eeuter. There's other seats up there, Billy. 
(points to rear row) 

Coombs. But she's sitting on my hat ! 

Mrs. W. Naw sir, I ain't settin' on no hat at all. 

Eeuter. Oh, that's different. Come Madam, you 
will have to find another seat. 

Mrs. W. (as she rises and goes up to rear bench) 
Awfully funny ! Wasn't no sign on that seat when I 
set down. 

Bailiff, (re-enter l. d.) Thanks, Jim. 

Eeuter. It was a pleasure. Are we going to 
have that tripe, Clarence? 

Bailiff. Yes, Jim — six o'clock. 

Eeuter. Good ! I'll be there, (as he is crossing 
r. To Bailiff) Here comes the Judge. 

Clerk, (as Judge enters) Everybody rise! 
(all rise. As Judge sits) Everyone be seated, (all 
sit. The Judge is a fatherly but distinguished man 
of fifty-five, very kindly, and understands children. 
He is smooth-shaven) 

Clerk, (reading from affidavit) Isaac Slavinsky 
and Washington White. (hands affidavit to the 
Judge. Washington starts down c. Slavinsky 
follows) 

Coombs, (to Doray as Washington passes him) 
Say, do we have to wait here until everybody else has 
been tried ? 

Clerk, (to Washington) This way, son. (to 
Slavinsky) Just stand up there. (Washington 



YOUNG AMEEICA 57 

steps up into the prisoners' docket. Slavinsky 
stands beside chair an witness stand. To Washing- 
ton, as the Judge looks at affidavit) Is your mother 
with you? 

Wash, (nodding) Yass, sir. 

Cleek. Mrs. White. 

Mrs. W. (rising) Yass, sir. 

Clerk. This way, please. (Mrs. White takes 
her place above Washington a bit to l. of him) 

Coombs, (cynically to Doray) Can you beat 
that? She sits on my hat and now she's the first 
one tried. I hope she gets twenty years. 

Judge, (to Slavinsky) Do you solemnly swear 
that the evidence and testimony that you shall give 
in these proceedings shall be the truth, the whole 
truth and nothing but the truth ? 

Slav. I do. (sits on witness stand) 

Judge, (with dignity) Are you Isaac Slavin- 
sky? 

Slav, (gruffly) Yes. 

Judge. What is your occupation? 

Slav. I am a peddler. 

Judge. What do you peddle? 

Slav. Vegetables. 

Judge. Did you file a complaint against this boy ? 

Slav. Yes. 

Judge. What did he do ? 

Slav. He stole my horse and vagon. 

Judge. Did you see him do it? 

Slav. Yes. 

Judge. Where was your horse and wagon? 

Slav. In the street. 

Judge. Where were you? 

Slav. I vas in the pack end of a house selling cab- 
bages. Ven I come pack to my vagon it vas gone. I 
looked down the street a couple of plocks an' dere it 



58 



YOUNG AMEEICA 



vas goin' away from me. I hollered STOP THIEF ! 
at a policeman. The policeman he jump into an 
outomobile and stop it. That boy vas doin' the driv- 
in' an' he vas th' only one in the vagon, so I had him 
arrested. 

Judge, (loolcs at Washington a moment. The 
boy is big-eyed with fear. The Judge smiles at him, 
then simply and with whimsical familiarity) Hello, 
Washington ! 

Wash. Hello. 

Judge, (slight pause) Your name is Washing- 
ton, isn't it? 

Wash, (grins bashfully) Yaas, sir. 

Judge. Were you named after George Washing- 
ton? 

Wash. 

Judge. 
ington — I 



No sir, Booker. 

(smiles) Now, Booker — I mean, Wash- 
am going to ask you a question and I 
want you to tell me the truth. You will, won't you ? 
Wash. Yass, sir. 

Did you take this man's horse? 

Yass, sir. 

And his wagon? 

Yass, sir. 

And you drove away with them? 

Yass, sir. 

You knew they didn't belong to you, 



Judge. 
Wash. 
Judge. 
Wash. 
Judge. 
Wash. 
Judge. 
didn't you? 
Wash. 
Judge. 
Wash. 
Judge. 
Wash. 
Judge. 



Yass, sir. 

Then why did you take them? 
'Cause. 
'Cause why ? 
'Cause I wanted a ride. 
Because you wanted a ride? Why didn't 
you ask for a ride? 

Wash. 'Cause I wanted to drive the horse. 



YOUNG AMEEICA 59 

Judge, (humoring him) Oh, that was it ! You 
wanted to drive the horse. Do you like horses? 

Wash. Yass, Sir. 

Judge. Was that the only reason you took the 
wagon — so that you could drive the horse ? 

Wash. Yass, sir. 

Judge, (to Slav.) Mr. Slavinsky, was the horse 
or wagon damaged in any way ? 

Slav. No, but I had to valk free plocks to get 
'em. 

Judge, (to Wash.) Have you ever been here be- 
fore? 

Wash. Naw sir. 

Judge. Have you ever run away with anything 
before ? 

Wash. Naw sir. 

Judge. Do you know what it is sometimes called 
when little boys run away with things that don't 
belong to them ? 

Wash. Yass, sir. 

Judge. What ? 

Wash. Stealin'. 

Judge. Exactly. And you know what happens to 
men when they do that, don't you? 

Wash. Yass, sir. 

Judge. When men steal they are sent to prison. 
You don't want to go to prison, do you? 

Wash, (emphatically) Naw, sir. 

Judge. Of course not ! And I don't want to send 
you to prison. And I'm not going to either. No. 
sir! I'm going to let you go home, right now — 
with your mother. But I want you to promise me 
that you will not run away with any more horses — or 
wagons — or anything else that doesn't belong to you. 
Will you promise ? 

Wash. Yass, sir. 



60 YOUNG AMEKICA 

Judge, (turns to Mrs. White) How is Wash- 
ington at home, Mrs. White? Is he a good little 
boy? 

Mrs. White. Yaas, sir, he's a perfect little angel ! 

Judge. That's nice. (to Washington) Now 
the next time you want to drive a horse, ask some- 
one to let yon and if no one will let you, come and 
tell me and maybe I can arrange it for you. (dis- 
missing him) That's all. 

Mrs. W. Thank you, Judge, (comes down-stage, 
grabs Washington by the arm and shoves him before 
her to door l.) Come on here, you confounded little 
thief. You always got me in court. I'm going to 
half kill you when I get you home, (she exits with 
Washington l.) 

Slav, (as Mrs. White and Wash, exit) Ain't 
you going to send him to jail ? 

Judge. Jail ? That little boy to jail ? 

Slav. Sure ! He stole, an' stealings a crime, ain't 
it? 

Judge. This is a juvenile court, Mr. Slavinsky, 
not a criminal court, and the purpose of a juvenile 
court is to correct, and as far as possible, to help 
children, not to punish them. 

Slav. That's all right, but 

Judge. Your complaint against the boy has been 
set aside and the case is dismissed, (to Clerk) 
Next! 

Slav, (exits grumbling, l.) A fine-a court in 
America. A schwartzer duyvil ganeffs a horse an 
vagon and noddings, etc. (exit) 

Coombs. I see what we're up against, (points to 
Judge) He'll probably pin a gold medal on Art 
Simpson. I wish I was running this court — I'd 
send him up for just about five years. 



YOUNG AMEEICA 61 

Clerk, (reading from back of affidavit) "John 
Doray and Arthur Simpson." 

Coombs. It's about time he's saying that. I 
never saw such a slow place in my life! 

Bailiff, (exits door l. and calls) This way, 
please, (standing in doorway l.) 

(Arthur enters and goes to prisoner's docket) 

Judge, (loolcs at Arthur kindly for a moment) 
Arthur, you are charged with breaking into a 
chicken coop and taking chickens. Did you do it? 
(Arthur makes no reply. Turns r. to Eeuter) 
Officer Eeuter, take the stand, please. (Eeuter steps 
on witness stand. The Judge raises his hand. Eeu- 
ter raises his) Do you solemnly swear to tell the 
truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? 

Eeuter. I do; 

Judge. (Eeuter sits on witness seat) Your 
name? 

Eeuter. (importantly) James J. Eeuter, Officer 
No. 1. (Clerk makes record of evidence) 

Judge. Did you arrest this boy ? 

Eeuter. I certainly did. 

Judge. Where ? 

Eeuter. At the home of Jack Doray, 97 Orchard 
Street. 

Judge. Did you catch him in the act of stealing 
chickens ? 

Eeuter. No, sir, I arrested him after he was 
caught. 

Judge. You were called to make the arrest? 

Eeuter. Yes, sir. 

Judge. Who called you? 

Eeuter. Doray. 

Judge. Did you make the arrest alone? 

Eeuter. No, sir. I took Nels Larsen with me. 



62 YOUNG AMERICA 

Judge. Does it require two officers to arrest one 
boy? 

Eeuter. No, sir. I took Nels along to protect 
the neighbors. This boy had 'em all scared stiff. 

Judge. How did yon know they were scared stiff ? 

Eeuter. Doray told me so. 

Judge. Did he ask you to bring an extra police- 
man? 

Eeuter. Yes, sir. 

Judge. That is all. Thank you. (Eeuter gives 
funny cough. Eeuter goes down to below Clerk's 
desk) Mr. Doray. (Doray rises and takes witness 
stand. Judge raises his hand) You solemnly swear 
that the evidence and testimony that you shall give 
in these proceedings shall be the truth, the whole 
truth and nothing but the truth ? 

Doray. (with raised hand) I do. 

Judge. Your full name, please? 

Doray. John Eudolph Doray. 

Judge. (as Doray sits) Mr. Doray, will you 
kindly relate as briefly as possible what you know 
about this case? 

Doray. Yes, sir. Well, night before last two 
friends of mine and I were playing cards at my 
house. We had been playing a short while when a 
gang of boys began to tick-tack the house. We 
frightened them away and resumed our game. Sud- 
denly my chickens began to squawk. Billy Coombs 
and I rushed out to tne chicken coop, caught this 
boy, took him into the house and telephoned for the 
police. 

Judge. Was he in the chicken coop when you 
caught him ? 

Doray. No, sir, he was just coming out of the 
coop. 

Judge. Did he have a chicken ? 



YOUNG AMEEICA 63 

Doray. No sir, he had two chickens. 

Judge. You saw them ? 

Doray. Yes sir, he had one in each hand. 

Judge. When he saw you what did he do? 

Doray. He threw the chickens at me and ran. 

Judge. And what did yon do ? 

Doray. Ducked. 

Judge. Ducked ? 

Doray. That is, I tried to dodge the chickens, 
but one of them hit me in the face. 

Judge. Oh, one of them struck you in the face? 

Doray. Yes, it sort of blinded me for a mo- 
ment — took me off my guard. 

Judge. And after you got back on your guard, 
then what? 

Doray. I chased the boy. 

Judge. Where did he run? 

Doray. Down the alley that runs behind my 
chicken coop. 

Judge. How far did you chase him before you 
caught him? 

Doray. I don't know; not more than twenty 
yards perhaps. He stumbled over something and 
fell. 

Judge. Was Mr. Coombs with you when you cap- 
tured the boy? 

Coombs, (jumps to his feet) No sir, Judge. 
You see, it was this way. I had just — 

Judge, (courteously but firmly) Just a moment, 
Mr. Coombs. I am examining Mr. Doray. 

Coombs, (pepperishly) All right, go ahead. 
(sits — sputtering ) 

Judge, (to Doray) Then Mr. Coombs was not 
with you when you actually caught the boy ? 

Doray. No, sir. 



64 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Judge. Do you make a practice of keeping the 
door of your chicken coop locked, Mr. Doray? 

Doray. Yes, sir. 

Judge. On this particular night was it locked? 

Doray. It was. 

Judge. Are you sure? 

Doray. Yes, sir. 

Judge. Did you lock it yourself ? 

Doray. No, sir. 

Judge. Then why are you sure it was locked? 

Doray. Because locking up the chickens is a pre- 
rogative that my wife has exercised ever since we 
have had chickens and when my wife does anything — 
she does it. 

Mrs. D. (rises) Mr. Judge? (Judge looks at 
her) You will pardon my speaking without an 
invitation — (to Doray) — and I am sure you will for- 
give me, Jack, for contradicting you, but Mr. Judge, 
the evening Arthur called on our chickens their coop 
had not been locked. 

Doray. Why, Edie Doray, you know very well — 

Mrs. D. I know, dear, because I never lock up 
the chickens until after the dinner dishes are 
washed — 

Doray. Yes, I know, but— 

Mrs. D. — and night before last, if you remember, 
while I was doing the dishes — 

Doray. Yes, I know, but — - 

Mrs. D. — you began talking baseball and as 
soon as I had finished the dishes, I— 

Coombs, (to the Judge as he rises) Now, 
Judge, why don't you ask the boy if the door was 
locked — he knows. 

Judge, (pounding bench with gavel) Order, 
Mr. Coombs! Order! 



YOUNG AMEEICA 65 

Coombs, (disgusted and disgruntled) All right! 
(seats himself) 

Judge, (to Mrs. Doray — courteously) Your testi- 
mony is somewhat irregular, Mrs. Doray, but it is 
of great value and I am deeply indebted to you. 

Mrs. D. Thank you. 

Judge, (to Mrs. Doray) To break into and 
enter a building that has been locked is a grave 
offense. Stealing is of itself a crime, but when pre- 
ceded by the act of breaking and entering it consti- 
tutes burglary, and burglary is a very serious matter. 
(smiles at her) So you see what you have told the 
Court has a direct bearing on the case. I thank you. 

Mrs. D. You are welcome, I am sure. (Doray 
turns to Mrs. D. starts to speak. Mrs. D. sits) 

Judge, (to Doray) Now, Mr. Doray, on this 
particular night, was the door of your chicken coop 
open or closed ? 

Doray. Well, Fm quite sure, your honor, that I 
wouldn't — (laughs embarrassedly — turns to Mrs. D.) 
Which was it, Edie, open ? 

Mrs. D. No, dear, closed, 

Doray. (turns to Judge) Closed. 

Judge, (to Mrs. D.) Thank you. (to Doray) 
Mr. Doray, it is quite evident that your wife knows 
more about this case than you do. 

Doray. (trying to explain — laughing) Well, 
you see, Judge, Edie and I have had the doggondest 
arguments— 

Judge, (dismissing him coldly) That is all, 
thank you. (Doray resumes seat on tench l.) 

Coombs, (jumps delightedly to his feet) * Good ! 
Now I'll get a chance to talk, (tries to open gate; 
to bailiff) Say, what's the matter with this gate? 
Wasn't it made to open? 

5 



66 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Judge. Mrs. Doray, will you kindly take the 
stand ? 

Mes. D. (surprised, as she rises) Me ? 

Judge. If yon please. 

Doeay. (to Coombs) I'll open it. 

Mes. Doeay. Surely, if I can be of any service. 
(Jack Doeay opens the gate, Mes. Doeay goes to c. 
preceded by Coombs who goes towards Judge's bench) 

Coombs, (rapidly as he crosses to Judge) Ex- 
cuse my butting in, Judge, but I'm in an awful 
hurry. Want to get to my office just as quick as I 
can. Can't you put me on the stand now? Mrs. 
Doray has all the time in the world. (to Mes. 
Doeay, who is ascending steps to stand) Haven't 
you? (to the Judge) Of course she has. (goes 
up steps to stand) Now, I'll just take the stand, 
tell my little story and beat it. (on stand, raising 
his hand to the clerk) Coombs, William A. (faces 
the Judge, raises his hand and swears himself in) 
The truth, the whole truth and nothing else, so help 
me God. (sits in chair, looks at watch, leans for- 
ward with hands on his knees. Looks at Judge who 
is eyeing him calmly) What are you waiting for? 

Judge. (deliberately, but with dignity) It is 
quite evident Mr. Coombs, that you have not had 
much experience in court rooms. 

Coombs. (quickly) No, and I don't want to 
have, either. I never saw a place in my life where 
they wasted so much time. Now let's get down to 
business — my time is money. I've got to catch that 
10 :45 express. What do you want to ask me ? 

Judge. Frankly, Mr. Coombs, and with as much 
emphasis as the dignity of the Bench will permit, I 
ask you to withdraw from this room. 

Coombs, (flabbergasted) What! 

Judge. You are guilty of contempt of court on 



YOUNG AMERICA 67 

three counts. (Coombs gazes at him "blankly) 
Ordinarily you would be arrested and fined for this 
offense, but the Court, realizing that a man of your, 
temperament is not always responsible for what he 
says and does, withholds the customary penalty and 
simply requests that you retire from this room. 

Coombs, (smiling ironically) All right, if that's 
the way you feel about it. (rises) But frankly 
and with as much emphasis as the dignity of my 
temperament will permit, I never got such a raw 
deal in my life, nowhere! (starts toward L. door) 

Judge, (raps with gavel) Officer, arrest that 
man. (Coombs stops and looks at the Judge) 

Reutek. (going towards Coombs) I'm sorry, 
Billy, but I'll have to arrest you. 

Coombs. (indignantly) What're you arresting 
me for ? I didn't steal the chickens. 

Judge, (severely) You are in contempt of 
Court. 

Coombs, (going to l. of Judge's bench and speak- 
ing persuasively, but rapidly) Now, look here, Judge, 
you don't want to arrest me. We both lost our tem- 
pers, that's all. You lost yours, I lost mine. We 
both lost 'em. Now that's all right. I'll just take 
the stand and tell my little story and we'll call it 
square. (goes up to witness stand) You don't 
want to arrest me ! No ! 

Judge, (to Reutek) Officer, place that man 
under arrest. 

Coombs, (persuasively, going to Judge's bench) 
Now, look here, Judge — 

Reuter. I'm sorry, Billy, but the law is the law. 
(places his hand on Coombs' shoulder) Consider 
yourself arrested. 

Coombs, (so exasperated he is funny) Now, 
Judge, be reasonable. 



68 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Judge, (firmly) I fine you ten dollars. 

Coombs, (angrily, as he jerhs wallet out of 
pocket) All right, if that's all you want, (takes 
$10. note and slaps it down in front of the Judge) 
There ! 

Judge. Pay the Clerk. 

Coombs, (pepperishly) You've got more time 
than I have. (Reutek crosses down e. Coombs 
starts doward door l.) 

Judge, (to Bailiff) Stop him. (Bailiff 
holds up hand to stop Coombs) 

Coombs, (facing the Judge) Now what's the 
matter ? 

Judge. This may be only a Juvenile Court, but 
after all it is a Court and its dignity must be main- 
tained. 

Coombs, (with satirical politeness) All right, 
maintain it. (Turns again to door L.) 

Judge. Mr. Coombs. (Coombs turns and looks 
at the Judge) I impose upon you an additional fine 
of $25. 

Coombs, (after looking satirically at the Judge 
for a moment) Say, is this county too poor to pay 
you a salary ? (jerks out his wallet, takes note from 
it, then turns to Doray) Jack, lend me five, will 
you? I've only got twenty. (Doeay, Benny and 
Eomney take out pocket books) 

Romney. (rising with $5 bill in his hand) 
Here's five, Billy. 

Coombs. Keep it; I may need it yet. (to Doeay, 
who hands him a $5 bill) Thanks, (goes to Judge's 
bench and lays notes on it) Twenty-five — three fives 
and a ten. 

Judge, (as Coombs starts l.) It was the in- 
struction of the Court that you pay the recorder. 



YOUNG AMEE1CA 69 

Coombs, (turns, picks up the money — puis it down 
on the Clerk's desk) Thirty-five. Send the receipt 
to my office, 703 Jackson Bldg. (up toward Kom- 
ney) I certainly am having my day in court. Let 
me have that five will you Eomney? (Romney hands 
him the bill) All I've left is a commutation ticket — 
(Doray hands him his hat) — and what was a hat. 
(puts the hat on and start to exit. To the Bailiff 
as he gets near door) Get out of my way ! 

Judge. Mr. Coombs! 

Coombs, (turns and looks at the Judge) All 
right, Fm going. Fm going, (exits L. hurriedly) 

Judge, (apologetically to Mrs. Doray, who has 
been standing at foot of steps and r. of spectators 
bench) Mrs. Doray, I regret this little unpleasant- 
ness, but people must be made to respect the dignity 
of the Courts. 

Mrs. D. (sympathetically) I don't blame you 
one bit, Mr. Judge; Billy Coombs means all right, 
but he's entirely too free with his temper. 

Judge, (officially) We will now continue the 
trial, (to Mrs. Doray) Won't you please be 
seated? (indicating witness stand) 

Mrs. D. Thank you. (sits in witness chair) 

Judge, (to Mrs D. raising his hand) You 
solemnly swear that the evidence and testimony that 
you shall give in these proceedings shall be the truth, 
the whole truth and nothing but the truth ? 

Mrs. D. Yes, sir. 

Judge. Your name, please? 

Mrs. D. Edith. 

Judge. Mrs. Doray, you were not subpoenaed to 
testify at this trial, but I assume you are willing to 
aid us in whatever way you can to render justice. 

Mrs. D. Most assuredly. 

Judge. Thank you. When your husband was on 



70 YOUNG AMEEICA 

the stand a few minutes ago, Mrs. Doray, he testified 
that locking up the chickens was a little prerogative 
that you have exercised ever since you have had 
chickens. 

Mrs. D. It is. I always lock them up. 

Judge. Then you are sure that on the night the 
chickens were taken the door to the coop was not 
locked? 

Mrs. D. Positively. 

Judge. But it was closed? 

Mrs. D. Yes. 

Judge, (in an easy, lucid manner) In trying 
a child, for violating the law, Mrs. Doray, the Juve- 
ile Court, unlike the regular Court, must take into 
account as a mitigating circumstance, the element of 
temptation. The law assumes that a child is less 
able to resist temptation than is an adult and for 
that reason it is more lenient with him. Have I 
made myself understood? 

Mrs. D. Perfectly. 

Judge. So as I understand it, Mrs. Doray, you 
keep your chickens penned up? 

Mrs. D. Yes, sir. 

Judge. Then so far as you are aware you have in 
no way whatever tempted this boy to take them ? 

Mrs. D. ISTo, sir. 

Judge. Do you know this boy, Mrs. Doray ? 

Mrs. D. Yes, and I knew his mother too. She 
was a good woman, your honor. 

Judge.- Thank you, that is all, I believe. (Mrs. 
Doray rises) I am grateful to you for testifying. 

Mrs. D. It has been a privilege, (comes down 
from stand) You don't 'think you will send him to 
the Reform School, do you, Your Honor? 

Judge. That remains to be seen. 



YOUNG AMEKICA 71 

Mrs. D. Thank you. (She returns to former 
seat, Doray opening gate for her.) 

Judge, (looks at Arthur meditatively, then 
quite firmly, hut in a friendly tone) Arthur, the 
evidence in this case seems to prove conclusively that 
you did enter Mr. Doray's — or rather Mrs. Doray's — 
chicken coop, and that you did take some of her 
chickens. Why did you do it ? 

Judge. (Arthur makes no reply. The Judge 
waits a moment, then smiles) Did you want to sell 
them? (pause) Did you want to eat them? 
(pause) Did you want to trade them off for a motor- 
cycle? (Arthur makes no reply to these questions) 
(in a firmer voice) You have been in this court once 
before, haven't you, Arthur? (Arthur makes no 
reply. The Judge turns towards the Clerk) Mr. 
Janison, has the boy been here before ? 

Clerk. Yes sir. 

Judge, (to Art) This is your second offense. 
Do you know what that means? It means that you 
will be sent to a reformatory unless you help me 
keep you out. Now why did you take those chickens ? 
(pause; then sternly) Do you intend to answer my 
questions? (No reply from Arthur) Very well, 
then there is only one thing left for me to do, and 
that is — 

Nutty, (rising to his feet. Nutty is a ragged, 
rough-looking, red-headed toy of fifteen, breezy, 
likeable, and barefooted) Mister, Your Honor, 
Art didn't steal them chickens — Honest, he didn't. 

Judge. How do you know he didn't? 

Nutty. 'Cause he was with me night 'fore last 
and I know everything he done. 

Judge. He was with you ? 

Nutty. Sure he was. 



72 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Judge. Then how do you account for his being in 
Mrs. Doray's chicken coop? 

Nutty, (coming down to gate as he speaks) He 
wasn't. You see, Judge, it was like this, (jumps 
over gate and comes down stage c.) Me an* Art 
an' Jasper was on our way home an' was goin' down 
the alley to save time. Jist as we gits back of Doray's 
hen house some kid jumps out an' yells "Beat it!" 
Now, whenever a guy hears de word "Beat it," Judge, 
he don't stop to ask no questions. No, sir. It's time 
for speed. An' that's jist what me an' Art done. I 
makes me getaway, but Art gets his legs all tangled 
up wid Jasper and down he flops, de poor boob, and 
den dey grab him. That's the way it happened 
Judge. Art didn't steal them chickens. Naw, he 
didn't steal 'em any more'n you did. 

Judge, (surprised and curious) Well, this 
sounds quite interesting. 

Nutty. An' it's the truth, Judge, it's the truth. 

Judge. What is your name ? 

Nutty. Nutty Beemer. 

Judge. Are you and Arthur close friends ? 

Nutty. Sure ! An' he's a prince, Judge. He's a 
prince when you knows him. He didn't glom them 
chickens, honest he didn't. 

Judge, (to Arthur) Arthur, why didn't you 
tell me this? 

Nutty. 'Cause he didn't think you'd believe him. 

Judge. Is that so, Arthur? 

Nutty, (to Arthur) Tell him. (to the Judge 
as Arthur makes no reply) Sure it's so, Judge. 
That's why he won't answer you now. 'Cause he 
don't think you'll believe him. Nobody believes him. 
They've all got it in for him — everybody. That's 
why he won't answer 1 you.. Th' only people he'll 
talk to is me an' Jasper. 



YOUNG AMEEICA 73 

Judge. Jasper? Who is Jasper? 

Nutty. Art's dog — an' he's some dog, too ! He 
can lick anything in this town ! Can't he, Art ? 

Art. Yes, or in any other town. (Art smiles 
proudly) 

Judge, (to Art.) Where is he now? 

Art. Ask Jim Eeuter — (as he looks down R. 
at Eeuter) The big stiff! 

Judge. That, kind of talk, young man, is not 
going to help you. (to Eeuter) Officer Eeuter, 
do you know where this boy's dog is ? 

Eeuter. (up) No, sir. The dog's tax hasn't 
been paid. We were going to take him to the dog 
pound the night we arrested the defendant, but when 
it come to a show-down it took both of us to handle 
the defendant, so we left the dog at Doray's and 
when I went back to get him he wasn't there. 

Judge. What became of him ? 

Eeuter. I don't know. I guess maybe he jumped 
through the window and got away. 

Art. (triumphantly) Good! He slipped one 
over on you that time, didn't he — you big cheese ? 

Eeuter. Don't call me names ! I'm an officer. 

Judge, (raps with gavel — to Art.) Order! ! 

Eeuter (shaking finger at Art) I'll get that 
hound yet ! 

Judge. Officer Eeuter! 

Eeuter. Beg your pardon, Your Honor, (re- 
sumes seat on stool, loses balance and with difficulty 
recovers himself) 

Judge, (to Nutty) Sonny, sit up there a mo- 
ment, will you? 

Nutty. Sure, (takes witness chair) 

Judge. Now, son, you are going to tell me the 
truth, aren't you ? 

Nutty. Sure. 



74 



YOUNG AMERICA 



What did you say your name was ? 

Nutty! 
Your Christian name ? 

Ain't got none. 
What does your mother call you? 

Step outside an' I tell you — she's 



Judge. 

Nutty. 
Judge. 
Nutty. 
Judge. 
Nutty. 
stepmother. 

Judge. What does your father call you? 
He don't — he's dead. 
You have been to school, haven't you? 
Onct. 

Well, what did your teacher call you? 
(disgusted) Harold! 
Now, Harold, as you came past Mrs. 
Doray's chicken coop you say that you saw a boy 
rush out of it? 

Nutty. Sure I saw him. 
Judge. And he said "Beat it !" 

Yes, but he didn't say it — he yelled it. 
Did you see him before he yelled ? 
Sure I did. 
Did he do anything? 
Yep. 
What? 

He flung some chickens. 
What did he fling the chickens at? 
I don't know ; I didn't take time to look. 
But you did see him fling some chickens 
at something ? Is that it ? 
Nutty. Yep. 

Judge. How do you know they were chickens? 
Nutty. 'Cause I heard 'em squawk. 
Judge. Yes — yes, of course. Now let me get 
this matter clear in my mind. 

Nutty, (smiling, boyishly, out not impudently) 
Sure, go ahead. 



Nutty. 

Judge. 

Nutty. 

Judge. 

Nutty. 

Judge. 



Nutty. 

Judge. 

Nutty. 

Judge. 

Nutty. 

Judge. 

Nutty. 

Judge. 

Nutty. 

Judge. 



YOUNG AMEEICA 



75 



Judge. As you and Arthur were coming home, 
you went down the alley behind Doray's house to 

Is that it? 

Yep, that's it. 
Where were you coming from? 

Main Street. 
What had you been doing on Main Street ? 

Seem' the movies. 
Seeing the movies ? 

Yep. 
Yep what? 

Yep, seein' the movies. 
Don't say yep — say "yes, sir." 

Yes, sir. 
What were you doing before you saw the 



save time 

Nutty. 

Judge. 

Nutty. 

Judge. 

Nutty. 

Judge. 

Nutty. 

Judge. 

Nutty. 

Judge. 

Nutty. 

Judge. 
movies ? 

Nutty. 

Judge. 
movies ? 

Nutty. 

Judge. 

Nutty. 



Trying to learn Jasper some new stunts. 
And what did you do after you left the 



We beat it for home. 
Arthur's home? 

No, Art ain't got no home. He lives 
with his aunt. 

Judge. Mrs. McGuire? 

Nutty. Yes — an' she's the meanest woman that 
ever lived. 

Patsy, (to Mrs. McG. as he rises) Ma, he's 
talkin' about you! (Mrs. McGuire pushes Patsy 
back into seat and angrily resumes her oivn) 

Judge, (raps with gavel) Order! Order!! (to 
Nutty) Are you and Arthur members of a gang 
that tick-tacked Mr. Doray's house, shortly before 
Mr. Doray caught Arthur ? 

Nutty, (disdainfully) Naw, we've got a gang 
of our own. 

Judge. Who are in your; gang ? 



76 YOUNG AMEKICA 

Nutty. Nobody but just me an' Art an' Jasper. 

Judge. Oh, an exclusive sort of gang. 

Nutty. Huh ? • 

Judge. Eh ? 

Nutty. Sir ? 

Judge. Oh, an exclusive sort of gang. 

Nutty. Yes, sir. 

Judge. Then on this particular evening you and 
Arthur had not been up to any mischief whatsoever ? 

Nutty. Nope — sir. 

Judge. But before going to the movies you went 
down to the railroad station to see the train come in. 
Was that it? 

Nutty. Nope; I said we was tryin ? to learn 
Jasper some new tricks. 

Judge. Oh, I see! Then it was after the movies 
that you went down to the railroad station ? 

Nutty. Naw! After the movties we beat it for 
home. Say! I ain't said nothin' about no railroad 
station. ( Judge, Clerk and Keuter exchange looks. 
Indignantly as the Judge smiles) What're you try- 
in' to do — make me double cross myself ? 

Judge, (to Doray) Mr. Doray, this seems to be 
a case of mistaken identity. 

Doray. (rising) Your Honor, I — 

Judge. I have no doubt that you saw a boy 
come out of your chicken coop with two chickens, but 
in the light of what Master Harold Beemer has just 
testified, and I have no reason to disbelieve him, there 
is in my mind a reasonable doubt that the boy you 
caught — this boy — was the boy you saw coming out 
of your coop. 

Doray. But Your Honor — 

Judge. Until the Court is convinced on that 
point, the defendant must be given the benefit of the 
doubt. 



. 



YOUNG AMERICA 77 

Doray. If it's only a question of my word against 
the word of this boy, Your Honor — 

Benny, (rising) Now wait a minute, Jack. 
I'll fix it for you. 

Doeay. (disgusted) All right, fix it ! (sits) 

Benny, (to Judge after Doray sits) Your 
Honor — I think that perhaps I can throw some light 
on this case. 

Judge. In what way ? 

Benny. By proving that Master Harold Beemer 
has not been telling the truth. 
- Judge. Will you kindly take" the stand? (to 
Nutty) Young man — 

Nutty. Huh? Sir? 

Judge. Have you been lying to me ? 

Nutty, (gamely) Do I look like I was lyin' ? 

Judge. No, I must admit that you don't. (Nutty 
comes down from witness stand) 

Nutty, (to Benny, softly. Benny is now near 
witness stand) Have a heart now ! (Benny goes on 
witness stand. Nutty stands near railing, gazing at 
floor.) 

Judge, (to Benny) You solemnly swear that 
the evidence and testimony you shall give in these 
proceedings shall be the truth, the whole truth, and 
nothing but the truth ? 

Benny. I do. 

Judge. Your name, please? 

Benny. Benjamin Franklin King. 

Judge. Where do you live ? 

Benny. Number 61 Orchard Street — one block 
from Mr. Doray. 

Judge. Be seated. (Benny sits) You say this 
boy — (indicating Nutty) — has not told me the 
truth? 

Benny. He has not. 



78 YOUNG AMERICA 

Judge. How do you know he hasn't ? 

Benny. The night Jack Doray's chickens were 
stolen I was at Jack's house. Suddenly my wife 
rushed in and told me that someone was stealing my 
chickens. I hiked for home and just as I reached 
the chicken coop I heard a boy running down the alley 
and I caught him. The boy I caught, Your Honor, 
was that boy there, (points to Nutty.) 

Judge. Your narrative is quite interesting, Mr. 
King. But it does not prove in any way that the 
testimony of this boy is false. On the contrary, it 
corroborates his own statement — that he did run 
down the alley. 

Benny. Yes, sir, but he did not say that while 
running down the alley he had a chicken under his 
arm. 

Judge. A chicken? 

Benny. Yes sir, a Plymouth Rock rooster. 

Judge. How do you know he had it ? 

Benny. Because I took it away from him. 

Judge. Oh! (to Nutty) So you were lying to 
me! 

Nutty, (turns angrily on Benny) Gee! You're 
a beaut ! Why didn't you keep still ? Couldn't you 
see I was trying to save my pal? 

Benny, (to Nutty) That was why I kept still 
as long as I did, Nutty. 

Judge, (to Nutty) Now, young man, we will 
get down to facts. Your alibi for Art was a lie 
from beginning to end, wasn't it? The truth this 
time^-no more lies. Wasn't it? 

Nutty. Yes, sir. 

Judge. You and Art Simpson had deliberately 
planned to take some of Mrs. Doray's chickens, 
hadn't you? 

Nutty. Yes, sir. 



YOUNG AMEEICA 79 

Judge. You had taken your chicken and were in 
the alley waiting for Art to come out of the coop 
with his chickens when Mr. Doray appeared on the 
scene. Art hollered "Beat it !" you rushed down the 
alley and that gentleman — (points to King) — caught 
you. Wasn't that the way it happened ? 

Nutty. Yeh, but Art didn't do any of the swipin'. 
I swiped 'em all meself . 

Art. Don't lie no more Nutty! He ? ll soak you 
the next time, (to the Judge) He didn't take them 
chickens, Judge. I took 'em, all Jhree of 'em. He's 
been stuffin' you to help me. 

Judge, (to Nutty) Then you didn't take any 
of the chickens? 

Nutty, (takes a step towards the Judge) But 
I was there an' — (Art glances at him and he stops 
short) 

Judge, (to King) That is all. Thank you. 
Mrs. McGuire. (as King resumes seat Mrs. Mc- 
Guire takes the stand; as she and Benny are cross- 
ing — Judge says to Clerk) Mr. Jameson, has 
Harold Beemer a record in this court? 

Clerk, (glancing in filing case) No, Your 
Honor. 

Judge. Thank you. (to Nutty, severely) Har- 
old, I shall consider this your first offense, but if you 
repeat it you will be dealt with severely, I warn you. 
(turns toward Mrs. McGuire on the stand) Mrs. 
McGuire, the last time this boy— (indicating Art) — 
was in Court I put him on probation and you volun- 
teered to act as his sponsor, didn't you? 

Mrs. McG. I did that, but faith and I want to 
resign the job. Sure and I've been as kind and 
gentle to him as his own mother would have been 
and here he treats me like a tom-cat. (to Art) 
Ain't you ashamed of yourself. 



80 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Judge. If I give your nephew another chance, 
Mrs. McGuire, would you be willing to act again as 
his sponsor? 

Mrs. McG. {indignantly) Phat! After all I 
have suffered at his hands ! Heaven forbid ! 

Judge. Then you refuse? 

Mrs. McG. Certainly I refuse. Enough is 
enough, Your Honor. An' besides, I have children 
of my own to look after. Phat that boy needs is 
the reform school and the quicker you send him 
there the quicker he'll brace up and be a man — (to 
Art) — if he's ever going to be a man. 

Judge, (gravely and slowly to AnT/after a slight 
pause) Arthur, there seems to be only one thing to 
do with you. 

Nutty, (quietly hut intensely sincere) Don't 
send him away, Judge. 

Judge, (firmly out not harshly, to Nutty) 
Silence! (to Art) This is your 3rd offense and a 
very serious one. You are charged with stealing and 
the charge has been proved. In the past your aunt 
tried to help you, but to no purpose. I tried to help 
you this morning and you rejected my efforts with 
sullen contempt. You are wayward, obstinate, and 
unresponsive. What you need is discipline. There- 
fore, I commit you to the State Eeformatory for a 
period of one year, (pause) 

Nutty, (turning toward the Judge. He is barely 
able to keep back the tears) Don't send him away, 
Judge. Me an' him are pals, Judge. (Judge raps 
with gavel. The Bailiff snaps his fingers to Nutty 
who exits l. sobbing, covering his face with his cap 
which he has been holding in his hand) 

Judge, (to Art) Before I instruct the clerk to 
make out your commitment papers have you any- 



YOUNG AMERICA 81 

thing you wish to say? (Arthur nods his head 
slowly) What is it? 

Art. Can I take my dog to the Reform School 
with me? 

Judge. No. 

Art. (wistfully) Then what's to become of 
him? 

Judge. Yon should have thought of that before 
you took the chickens. 

Art. But I can't go away and leave my dog. 

Judge, (sternly) You should have thought of 
that before. 

Art. But Jasper's my friend. Him and Nutty's 
the only friends I've got. I had him when my 
mother died. She thought a lot of me and Jasper. 
I don't care what you do to me, Judge. Send me to 
the Reform School for the rest of my life if you 
want to, but don't take away my dog. Jasper's my 
friend. He's 'the best friend I've got. Please, please, 
Judge, don't take away my dog. (buries his face in 
his arms and cries) 

. Mrs. D. (rises and says simply but as if deeply 
moved) Your Honor — (Judge looks at her) I will 
act as Arthur's sponsor. 

Doray. (rises, amazed) Edith! (Mrs. King, 
Marjorie, Benny and Romney stare at her) 

Mrs. K. Mrs. Doray! 

Mrs. McG. (to Mrs. Doray) Faith, an' ye'd 
better go slow, ma'am, for he's the biggest little devil 
as ever lived. 

Judge. That's all, Mr's. McGuire. (Mrs. Mc- 
Guire resumes her seat in spectators' bench) 

Mrs. D. (to the Judge) If you will give the boy 
one more chance I will be responsible for everything 
he does. 

Doray. Edith, you shall do no such thing. 

6 



82 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Mrs. D. But I insist, dear, (comes from spec- 
tators' bench outside railing, Doray following) 

Doray. And I object, I refuse absolutely to let 
you assume any such responsibility. 

Mrs. D. (comes through gate) Your Honor, I 
am of legal age and own property. Does that qualify 
me to act as sponsor? 

Doray. (following Edith) Now do be reason- 
able, Edie. What could you do with a little repro- 
bate like that ? 

Mrs. D. Give him a home. 

Doray. You mean, have him live with us? 

Mrs. D. Yes, why not ? 

Doray. (over quickly to Judge) Your Honor, 
I positively refuse to allow my wife to — 

Mrs. D. Now, Jack, do be reasonable. 

Doray. (emphatically) I am reasonable, but I 
don't propose to have my home turned into a regen- 
erating plant. 

Mrs. D. (trying to reason) But Jack, dear — 

Doray. No, no, no! (stamps foot and crosses 
angrily to L.) 

Mrs. D. (calmly to the Judge) Am I legally 
qualified to act as sponsor? 

Judge. You are. 

Mrs. D. Then will you kindly appoint me ? 

Doray. (going quickly to the Judge) Your 
Honor, I absolutely refuse to allow you to appoint 
my wife sponsor for that boy. 

Judge. With all due respect to you, Mr. Doray, 
in view of what your wife has just said, the Court 
reserves the right to act as it sees fit. 

Mrs. D. (to Arthur, in a kind tone) Arthur, 
would you like to live with us ? 

Doray. Edith ! (starts towards her) 

Mrs. D. (to Art) Would you? 



YOUNG AMEEICA 83 



Doeay. I tell you- 



Mks. D. Just a moment, dear. Let Arthur 
answer my question. 

Doeay. Never mind Arthur. I tell you we are 
not going to take that boy into our home. 

Mrs. D. (after a slight pause) Do you wish to 
live with us, Arthur ? 

Art. {after* glancing at Doeay and sizing him 
up) No. 

Doeay. (triumphantly) There you are! (goes 
to seat and picks up hat) 

Mes. D. (pleasantly to Aethue, ignoring Doeay) 
What I meant was would you rather live with us 
than go to the Eef orm School ? 

Aet. (to Mes. Doeay) Can I have my dog? 

Mes.^ D. Surely you may have your dog. 

Doeay. (crossing e.,, vehemently to the Judge) 
Your Honor, no woman has the right to turn a man's 
house into a dog kennel. I won't stand it ! I sim- 
ply won't stand it! (turns to Edith, takes her arm 
and starts l.) Edith, you come with me. The place 
for you is home, (starts L.) 

Judge. Just a moment, Mr. Doray. (Doeay 
stops and looks back) This case has not been dis- 
missed. 

Doeay. It has so far as I'm concerned, (to Mes. 
Doeay) Come on. (Doeay starts again for door L.) 

Judge, (raps with gavel — emphatically) Mr. 
Doray! (Doeay pays no attention to Judge. The 
Judge pounds with gavel. Doeay pauses) This case 
has not been dismissed. 

Doeay. Well, do you think (stiffly apol- 
ogetic) I beg your pardon. 

Judge, (with dignity) Your wife, in desiring 
to be appointed sponsor for this boy, Mr. Doray, is 
prompted by a noble impulse. She wishes to help 



84 YOUNG AMEEICA 

him. She wishes to give him one more opportunity 
to make a man of himself. 

Doray. (crossing to c.) That's all very well, 
Your Honor, but I don't want that boy in my home. 

Judge. In view of the fact that your wife is so 
desirous of helping the boy, why do you so vigorously 
oppose his entering your home ? 

Doray. Because I don't want him there, that's 
all. 

Judge. Why? 

Doray. (emphatically) Because! 

Judge. Because why ? 

Doray. (crossing to Judge) I don't want that 
boy in my house. I don't want him there and that's 
all there is to it. 

Judge. Is it a question of expense ? 

Doray. No. 

Judge. Have you any children ? 

Doray. No, but 

Judge. You like children, don't you ? 

Doray. Certainly I like them, but when it comes 
to raising them I prefer to raise my own. 

Judge. Naturally, but your wife being appointed 
sponsor for this boy is in no way obligated to raise 
him. 

Doray. Then what is she obligated to do? 

Judge. To keep him until he is able to provide 
for himself or until she can arrange with some one 
else to provide for him. 

Doray. That's just it! "Keep him!" I don't 
want to keep him at all. 

Judge. Have you a good reason? 

Doray. (r. of Arthur) The best reason in the 
world — I don't want that boy in my house, that's all. 

Judge. My dear Mr. Doray, this boy represents 
Young America. The discipline of a reformatory 



YOUNG AMERICA 85 

might make him better and again it might make 
him infinitely worse. But if he is taken into a home 
where kindness prevails, where he will receive the 
sympathy and mother love of a woman snch as your 
wife — {pauses and smiles the smile of a big love of 
humanity) My friend, this is the golden oppor- 
tunity of that boy's life and I may say, Mr. Doray, 
of yours. 

Doray. That's all very well, Your Honor, but a 
man's home is his home and mine is a perfect little 
paradise. Everything is peace and happiness. Now 
why should I spoil it all by taking a thieving little 
vagabond? 

Judge. You won't spoil it. The way to increase 
happiness is to share it with others. 

Doray. I don't care to meddle with happiness. 
I'm willing to leave well enough alone. 
Judge. But the boy. 

Doray. Let the State take care of him. That's 
what I pay taxes for. 

Mrs. D. (distressed) Jack! 
Judge, (emphatically) Our responsibilities as 
American citizens, Mr. Doray, do not end with the 
payment of taxes. 

Doray. Your Honor, you have no right to take 
such a stand! 

Judge. My dear friend, I am taking no stand 
whatever. I am simply trying to protect this boy's 
future, and since your wife — who is an equal partner 
in your home, is willing and desirous of helping the 
boy, I had hoped that you would be generous enough 
to assist her. 

Mrs, D. And he will, Your Honor. You don't 
know Jack. Come, Arthur. 

Doray. (turning to Judge) Your Honor, I 
appeal to you. 



86 YOUNG AMERICA 

Judge. The decision does not rest with me, my 
friend. It is a matter between yon and your wife, 
and I may add, your conscience. 

Mrs. D. There, you see. 

Doray. Edith Doray, if you take that boy into 
my home Fll never set foot in it again as long as I 
live, never! 

Mrs. D. Oh, Jack, you don't mean that! 

Doray. Yes, I do. You must choose between him 
and me. 

Mrs. D. Oh, you can't mean such a thing, Jack? 

Doray. Yes, I do. 

Mrs. D. No, no, no ! I know you too well, dear. 

Doray. You are not going to take that boy into 
my home. ' 

Mrs. D. But it's our duty to try and help the boy. 

Doray. It's not my duty. 

Mrs. D. It's the duty of all of us — yours, mine — 
and the Judge's. 

Doray. Then why doesn't the Judge do his duty ? 

Judge. I'm willing to suspend sentence if any 
respectable person will show an interest in the boy. 

Doray. Do you mean to insinuate that I'm not 
respectable ? 

Judge. Certainly not. 

Mrs. D. Of course not. He means that we are 
not only respectable but kind, and we are going to 
give the boy a chance. 

Judge. Precisely. And, Mrs. Doray, if you are 
willing to look after the boy, I am willing to 
give him another chance. 

Mrs. D. Thank you, Your Honor. Come Ar- 
thur, we'll start on. 

Doray. Edith! (enter Coombs; meets Mrs. D. 
and Arthur) 

Mrs. D. Oh, back again, Mr. Coombs? 



. YOUNG AMEEICA 87 

Coombs {indignantly) Yes, back again ! Missed 
my train ! Missed my appointment ! (stops and 
stares at Mes. D. and Art., who are near l. door; 
looks over at Doeay) What's the matter — didn't he 
give him the limit? 

Doray. Limit hell ! He gave him to me ! 

CURTAIN 

Coombs, (as the curtain is falling. Angrily 
going towards Judge) Now look here, Judge — 

SECOND CURTAIN 



ACT III 

SCENE:— Same as Act I.,— 4 a. m. the next day. 
Chair l. of 'phone is changed to space between 
buffet and stairway; vacuum cleaner ts struck; 
rocker placed close to window l. Small pillow 
on settee changed to armchair R. of phone table 
and large pillow from window c. to R. end of 
settee; water carafe struck from buffet. 

AT EISE:— Set discovered. The room tools rather 
dark. Only two wall lamps, above buffet and 
below L. d. are lighted. On the bannister post of 
stairs is a boy's cap. Slight pause, then some- 
one is heard unlocking i». v. D. 

Dorat. (enter L. v. D. He has been out all night 
walking the streets; his looks and actions showjt. 
He is tired, sleepy and disgusted. Has a halfmoked 
cigar in his mouth. He pauses a moment m door- 
' way as if debating whether to come m or go out, then 
cZTsin, closes door and crosses languidly to stairs 
As he starts up stairs he puts hand on »™«*" !"»*' 
discovers Art's cap, picks it up, looks ^>f™ c f 
significantly upstairs, then hurls cap savagely to 
floor descends steps angrily, and starts toward l. d 
The clock strikes four Dorat ^ps a nd, l ook s at 
clock Disgusted and sleepy) Hell! (takes off 
coat tosses % on chair beside table, shrugs shoulders 
as if chilly, yanks linen table-spread from table, 
dosses to couch and lies down. Comedy business 
7rZg to get comfortable. His draw hat is mthe 
2y,so he jerks it off and slams \^jlyon floor 
Comedy business trying to cover himself 'with table 
spread It is wadded up lengthwise like a bath towel 
Steeps slipping between his legs. Finally when 



88 



YOUNG AMEEICA 89 

he thirties he is covered,, sighs, dozes off asleep, and 
cigar falls from his mouth) 

CTTETAIN 

(Curtain is down ten seconds to denote a lapse of 
four hours) 

(At Eise of curtain Doray is discovered sound asleep 
on couch and the hour hand of clock is at 8.) 

Mrs. D. (enters from stairs R. carrying an alarm 
clock in her hand. Doray is snoring. She stops on 
stairs and looks at him. Turns off wall lamp above 
buffet, puts alarm clock on 'phone table, then crosses 
to Doray, bends over him and kisses him lightly on 
the forehead) 

Doray. (in his sleep) I fine you ten dollars. 
(Mrs. D. picks up ash tray and^puts it on telephone 
table, then gets his coat and spreads it over his shoul- 
ders) I won't stand it, Your Honor, I simply won't 
stand it! (Mrs. D. smiles at him, then exits up r. 
with table cover, pushing pantry door back so that it 
will stay open) Washington Slavinsky and Isaac 
White. (Mrs. D. re-enters from r. goes to buffet, 
puts coffee pot and cream pitcher on it, picks up 
Art's cap from floor and places it on chavr below the 
buffet, takes up water pitcher and fills both finger 
bowls half full. Alarm clock rings. She rushes up 
to 'phone table, grabs clock and tries to stop the 
alarm.) 

Mrs. D. (to clock) Sh! 

Doray. (in sleep) "Sush" yourself. (still 
sleeping as alarm continues) All right, I'm up. 
(the sound wakens Doray, who sits up cross and 
sleepy) What is this — the 4th of July? 



90 YOUNG AMERICA 

Mrs.D. (over to buffet Goes to table laying it) 
No, dear, this is Decoration Day. _ 

Doray. Then why the alarm clock? Don t you 
want me to have any sleep at all i 

Mrs. D. It went off by accident, dear. I brought 
it down to time the eggs with. 

"Hopay (Mrs. D. crosses to buffet with clock) 
v?JT So Wre going to feed that little home 

table) Where is he? 
Mrs. D. You refer to Arthur? 
Doray. Yes, the boy poultry fancier-where is 

he? 

Mrs. D. Asleep. 

Doray. Asleep? 

Mrs. D. Yes. 

Doray. Where— in the spare room i 

Dob A x D - («,) de That's nice. (Mrs D «h 
«K» W) Do you know where I slept last 

night? 

Mrs. D. No, dear. 
Doray. Do you care? 

SoL? Sdrrfteep at all, that's where I slept. 
I wXd'the streets all night; out into the country 
^Tbaek into town. I haven't tasted a mouthful of 
CdSe that trial, (ca^ically empMUc) And 
whv' That's the point, Edith, why? 

Mrs. D. (pleasantly tactful) How do you want 
your eggs this morning, dear-boiled or fried? , 

y Doray. (firmly as he rises and goes o.\ Neve 
mind my eggs. Why did I stay out all mght anc 
why did I go hungry? 

Mrs. D. I'm sure I don't know. 

Doray. Oh, you don't. 



YOUNG AMERICA 91 

Mrs. D. No, dear, (naively, and with a little 
smile) Do yon? 

Doray. (pepperishly) Yes, and so do you. 
(pointing to the stairs R.) It was that kid! He's 
why I stayed ont all night. 

Mrs. D. (kindly and sympathetically, but re- 
served) I'm sorry, dear, (crosses to buffet) 

Doray. (following her) Edith, yon knew I 
didn't want that little bnm in this house, and yet you 
insisted on bringing him here. 

Mrs. D. (as she takes three plates from buffet) 
Why did I insist, dear? 

Doray. Because I opposed it. 

Mrs. D. (wounded) Oh, Jack, Jack ! 

Doray. You knew I didn't want him. Why did 
you bring him here? 

Mrs. D. Because I wanted to help him. 

Doray. Help him! Your motive was all right, 
but your method was all wrong. Why didn't you let 
someone else help him? 

Mrs. D. (placing the plates) Someone else? 

Doray. Yes, you didn't have to do it. (crosses 
to window seat up L.) 

Mrs. D. If I didn't know you dear, I might think 
you very, very selfish. 

Doray. (sarcastically) Selfish? Ha! Ha! Ha! 
Are you setting that table for three? (crossing c.) 

Mrs. (as she places third plate) Yes, dear. 

Doray. (goes to table) Well, we'll just take 
off one of those plates, (takes third plate from 
table) I'll either eat without that kid or I won't 
eat at all. 

Mrs. D. Now please, Jack, don't act this way. 

Doray. I tell you I won't eat with that kid, that 
settles it. (goes toward buffet with plate) 



92 YOUNG AMERICA 

Mrs. D. Very well, dear, just as you say. (starts 
for R. stairs) 

Doray. Where are you going? 

Mrs. D. To wake Arthur. 

Doray. (Mrs. D. starts upstairs) Let him 
sleep. The longer he sleeps the longer I can eat. I 
don't want any breakfast. (Mrs. D. stops. Sternly) 
You can boil my eggs, (crossing to c.) 

Mrs. D. Yes, dear, (starts up the stairs) 

Doray. (sternly as he goes toward stairs) Edith, 
this matter has got to be settled right here and now. 
Who comes first in this house — that little bum or 
me? 

Mrs. D. (tenderly and with a loving smile, as she 
comes down toward him, hurriedly) Why, Jack, you 
know who comes first, — always and everywhere. 

Doray. (impatiently) Then why don't you do 
what I ask you? (as he tries to take her hands, 
unconsciously ruts plate over them) 

Mrs. D. Don't you remember, this is the day of 
Eomney Burgess' fishing party? 

Doray. Fishing? 

Mrs. D. Yes, and I don't want the others to be 
kept waiting because of Arthur. 

Doray. Good Lord ! You aren't planning to take 
him with us ! 

Mrs. D. Why, yes, if he wants to go. 

Doray. No! (starting l.) 

Mrs. D. But Jack, dear 

Doray. All right take him! I'll stay home! 
(hurls the plate to floor. Door bell rings) Come 
in! (Mrs. D. exits up the stairs. Doray goes to 
chair l. and sits with his back to Coombs as the latter 
enters) 

Coombs, (enters from l. with Pinto. Coombs 
wears a white felt hat with a natty blue and white 



YOUNG AMERICA 93 

ha'c band — the stripes of blue and white running up 
and down; a dark blue suit and a bright 
blue necktie. He looks all dressed up. Pinto is a 
fluffy little snow white poodle, with a big blue ribbon 
on top of his fancy blue and white harness. He is 
led by a blue and white ribbon leash — to match 
Coombs' hat band. Coombs is ashamed of the dog 
and his expression and actions show it) Hello, Jack. 

Dokay. (gruffly) Hello ! 

Coombs, (satirically) What's the matter — got a 
cold on your chest ? 

Dokay. What makes yon think so ? 

Coombs. Yon talk like a bnll frog. 

Doeay. Oh, I do? Well, I don't look like one, 
and that's more than yon can say. 

Coombs, (resentfully) That's it, take a shot at 
me. I come over here to give yon a little sympathy 
and what do I get ? Insults ! (indignantly on the 
defensive) I'm not to blame for this hat. 

Dokay. Who is? 

Coombs. My wife. She bought it and makes me 
wear it to carry out the color scheme on Pinto. See ! 
(cynically, as he points to Pinto) Blue and white. 
(pointing to hat) Blue and white, (points to neck- 
tie) Blue, (points to Pinto) White. Hereafter, 
whenever I take that (points to Pinto) out walking 
I must wear this — (points to hat) And whenever I 
go out walking I must take that, (points to Pinto) 
If the day is cool or the sun looks as if it might slip 
under a cloud, I've got to take this (takes a tiny 
blue dog vest from pocket) and put it on that (points 
to Pinto) so that that (points rapidly at Pinto dur- 
ing the following) won't catch cold in his little 
tonsils and croak with the mumps. 

Doeay. Say, for the love of Mike, did you come 
over here to tell me your troubles? 



94 YOUNG AMERICA 

Coombs. No, I came over to sympathize with 
yours. 

Doray. Thanks. 

Coombs, (seriously) When the Judge wished 
Art Simpson on you he did a dirty, mean, con- 
temptible trick. 

Doray. Thanks, Billy, (rises) 

Coombs. And if there's anything I can do, Jack, 
to help you get rid of the pest, say the word and 
it's done. 

Doray. (goes c. and shakes Coombs' hand) 
Thanks, Billy. - You're surely a true friend. 

Coombs, (gravely) This is a critical moment, 
Jack, and you must stand firm. We had a critical 
moment at our house when Pinto came. Juliet 
wanted to keep him — I didn't. We clashed. I held 
my own for five minutes — then I backed water. And 
I've been backing water ever since. Be firm, Jack, 
hold your ground! 

Doray. You bet I'll hold it. 

Coombs. Well, must go now, Jack. It's time 
for this little Siberian mouse hound to have his exer- 
cise, (crosses towards door) 

Doray. Aren't you going fishing with Eomney ? 

Coombs. No. That's what I came over to tell 
you. I've got to stay home and teach that to 
stand on its hind legs and bark like a dog. I used 
to be a regular person, Jack, now look at me. (he 
picks up Pinto by leash) Billy, the DOG-MAN. 
So long, Jack. 

Doray. Good-bye. (Coombs exits swinging 
Pinto like a pendulum) 

Mrs. D. (comes running down the stairs) Jack ! 

Doray. Yes ? 

Mrs. D. He's gone. 

Doray. What? 



YOUNG AMERICA 95 

Mrs. D. Arthur is gone. 

Doray. Are you sure ? 

Mrs. D. He isn't upstairs. He realized that you 
didn't want him around the place so I suppose the 
poor little fellow must have gone away some time 
during the night. 

Doray. Thank Heaven! 

Mrs. D. Jack! 

Doray. (as Mrs. D. picks up pieces of "broken 
plate, puts them on table end of buffet and places a 
third plate on table) There now, Edie, let's not 
quarrel any more. It's been my fault from the first 
and I'm sorry for the way I've acted in the whole 
affair. Instead of acting manfully, I've behaved like 
a baby. I promise never to do it again. Will you 
kiss and make up? (when they are about to Jciss) 
Are you sure he's gone ? 

Mrs. D. Yes. (they hiss) 

Doray. There! We'll never quarrel again as 
long as we live, (pats her shoulder affectionately) 
The boy is gone and the chapter closed, (as she 
smiles faintly) Now we'll hurry and get breakfast 
and be all ready to join Eomney's picknickers when 
they arrive. While you're cooking the eggs I'll run 
up and shave, (starts toward the stairs R.) 

Mrs. D. Don't go now, breakfast is all ready. 
(goes up r. and exits) 

Doray. All right then I'll wait until after 
breakfast, (as he opens rear windows) Edie, this is 
certainly a great day for fishing! (comes down c. 
Calls to Mrs. D. off stage r.) Edie, did you bring 
in the morning paper ? 

Mrs. D. (off stage r.) No dear, I forgot it. 

Doray. All right, dear, I'll get it. (exits L., gets 
paper, enters and comes to L. of table) Oh! Edie, is 
there anything I can do to- help you, darling? 



96 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Mrs. D. (offstage r.) No, thank you. 

Doray. All right, sweetheart, (sits at table, 
reading the paper and humming) 
"There was a bold fisherman set sail from old Pimlico 
To catch some fine codfish and gay mackerel, 
But when he got to Pimlico the winds they did begin 

to blow, 
His little boat did wobble so that over went he." 

Art. (enters from l. comes downstage l. and sits 
in rocking chaw in front of window seat. Has Jas- 
per's harness, puts it on window seat. Sits facing 
window. He now wears a new suit of 'knickerbockers, 
stockings, sh\oes, shirt, soft collar and tie. His face is 
clean and his hair brushed) 

Doray. (sits whistling, happily looking at news- 
paper, unaware of Art's presence) 

Mrs. D. (enters from upstage R. carrying break- 
fast tray with grape fruit, eggs and rack of toast. As 
she sees Arthur) Why, hello We thought you'd 
gone. (Art turns chair to front and smiles at 
Mrs. D.) 

Doray. (startled at hearing Art's name. Think- 
ing she is fooling, laughs) Ha ! ha ! ha ! Oh, I know 
you. (he looks around quickly, sees Art then looks 
up angrily at Mrs, D. Comedy situation. After a 
pause) Edith Doray! (springs to his feet, upset- 
ting his chair backwards. Doray savagely throws 
newspaper on settee and stalks out of door l., paces 
up and down outside for a moment, returns and sits 
in rocker facing l. window) 

Art. (goes c. toward table) Where's Jasper? 

Mrs. D. I locked him in the basement. 

Art. How do you get to the basement ? 

Mrs. D. Thru the kitchen, (as Art starts to- 
ward pantry r.) Don't you think you'd better wait 
until after breakfast? 



YOUNG AMERICA 97 

Art. (at pantry door) I've been hunting him 
since six o'clock. 

Mrs. D. (pleasantly) Then yon shall have him. 
(as Art is about to exit) Pll get him for you. 
(Art comes down stage c.) Jack, you and Arthur 
begin your breakfast, (indicating r. of table) This 
is your place, Arthur, (turns toward Doray) Come 
Jack, the eggs will be getting cold. 

Doray. No, thank you, I don't care for any eggs 
this morning. 

Mrs. D. Then come and have some fruit, (pleas- 
antly to Art) You like eggs, don't you, Arthur ? 

Art. Yes, but 

Mrs. D. (smiles) I'm going for Jasper right 
away, (coaxingly) Do sit down, and begin your 
breakfast. (Arthur sits R. of table. Mrs. D. 
crosses l. to Doray) Jack, dear, you promised me — 

Doray. Now leave me alone. 

Mrs. D. Come on, dear, you promised to behave 
manfully. (begins rocking the chair from behind) 

Doray. Now don't be silly, Edith. Don't do 
this! 

Mrs. D. Come on. One ! Two ! Three ! (shoves 
chair forward spilling Doray out towards table. He 
almost falls down. Mrs. Doray goes to him and 
takes him by the arm. Urges him to sit at the 
table) 

Doray. (grudgingly) All right, but I won't eat 
anything, that's flat. 

Mrs. D. You don't have to eat anything, just sit 
at the table and look natural. Come along, dear. 
(Doray follows her r.) Pick up your chair, (indi- 
cates chair) That's a good boy. 

Doray. Aw! (comedy business and comedy ad 
lib. Mrs. D. wants him to pick up chair — he doesn't 
want to — finally) 

7 



98 v YOUNG AMEBIC A 

Mes. D. Just for me, dear, just for me. (Doeay 
picks up the chair and sets it L. of table then goes 
to rear window) Did you rest well last night, Ar- 
thur? (Mes. D. picks up tray) 

Aet. Yes ma'am. 

Mes. D. (to Aet) Now I'll go and get Jasper, 
and you two start your breakfast. Don't wait for 
me. {exits e. to pantry carrying tray) 

Doeat. (looks at Aet who is smiling at him 
pleasantly) Who are you grinning at? (Aet turns 
quickly away) I'll be doggered if I'll be cheated out 
of my breakfast by you or anyone like you. (Doeay 
comes to table, sits l., puts napkin on lap. Aet un- 
folds napkin and tucks it under his chin) 

Doeay. Hey ! do you know what year this is ? 

Aet. Yes, sir. 

Doeay. Take that napkin out from under your 
chin. Put it in your lap—where it belongs — (sar- 
castic — quoting Mes. D. to himself) "Did you rest 
well last night, Arthur?" 

Aet. (beaming) Yes, sir. (Aet takes napkin 
out and places it on his knee. Aet and Doeay start 
eating grapefruit. Suddenly Aet drops spoon and 
covers his left eye with hand. Juice from Doeay's 
grape fruit has hit him in the eye. Comedy business 
of rubbing eye painfully, then Aet shoves spoon into 
his own grapefruit and it squirts juice into Doeay's 
eye. Doeay drops spoon and covers his eyes with his 
hands. He is angry and in pain) Wait a minute ! 
Art. What's the matter? 

Doeay. You're squirting juice all over me. 

Aet. Excuse me. 

Doeay. (Aet. picks up fruit and begins to eat 
it with his mouth) Take that thing away from your 
face. Put it on your plate and eat it like a gentle- 



YOUNG AMEEICA 99 

man. (Art puts grapefruit down on plate) If you 
eat at this table I'm going to teach yon manners or 
know the reason why. Can't you eat a grapefruit 
without turning it into a squirt-gun? (Art digs 
into grapefruit again) For heaven's sake wait 
until after breakfast and then take it out in 
the back yard where you'll have lots of room. (Doray 
picks up his own fruit plate, lays it aside and dips his 
fingers into finger bowl. Art watches and does like- 
wise, washing hands in the bowl) How long can 
you stay under? {points to finger bowl) What do 
you tjiink that is ? A swimming pool ? 

Art. What is it? 

Doray. A finger bowl — {dipping finger in bowl 
again) — a finger bowl. 

Art. Oh! {dips fingers in bowl then wipes his 
hands on his shirt) 

Doray. {placing egg cup on plate) Don't do 
that. Wipe your hands on your napkin — not on 
your shirt. 

Art. The napkin's clean, my shirt ain't. 

Doray. Don't argue! I won't stand it. (Art 
has spilled water on table, wipes it with napkin. 
Doray threatens him with egg — takes an egg from 
bowl, puts it in egg cup, cuts the top off, salts and 
peppers it and begins eating it) 

Art. {watches Doray then takes egg from bowl) 
Is this my egg? 

Doray. No, the other one. (Art drops egg and 
pick's up the other one. Disgustedly) Is this my 
egg? That's the limit! (Mrs. Doray enters from 
R. with Jasper) 

Art. Hello Jasper. Come on, Jasper. 

Mrs. D. Can he do any tricks? 

Art.- Yes, ma'am. Do you want to see him do 
some, {bending over) Jump up on my back. 



100 YOUNG AMERICA 

(dog jumps on his bach) Now, sit down ( dog does) 
Open your mouth, (dog does) Now jump down. 

Mrs. D. My, did you teach him that? 

Art. (proudly) Aw! That's nuttin', you ought 
to see what he can do. (to dog) Stand up, Jasper. 
(dog rises on hind legs) 

Mrs. D. Wonderful ! 

Art. Turn around. 

Mrs. D. Splendid. 

Art. Walk around Mrs. Doray. Walk around 
Mrs. Doray ! 

Mrs. D. Bravo ! (claps her hands) 

Art. Now, go over to the chair, and get my cap 
and bring it to me. (dog does so) 

Art. Catch your tail, (he does) 

Mrs. D. (delightedly) He did — caught it right 
in his mouth. 

Art. Jump through! (dog jumps through his 
arms and bach again) Come on Jasper. Get up! 
Now you stand up and tango. (Art walks backward 
humming a rag, Jasper following on his hind legs) 

Doray. (who has been watching the performance 
with interest begins to clap his hands, heeping time 
to the tangoing. As he sees Mrs. D. and Art looh- 
ing at him, he rises angrily and rushes up the stairs. 
Mrs. D. exits after Doray. Art. throws cap in 
rocher, gets Jasper's harness from window l. and 
fastens it on Jasper, who gets up in rocher) 

Nutty, (appears at window upstage l.) Hey, 
Art! Art! 

Art. Hello Nutty, what's the matter? 

Nutty, (subdued voice) Say, I'm coming in. 

Art. Sure, come on. 

Nutty, (crossing down r. c.) Say— (looking 
around) Jim Eeuter's looking for you. 



YOUffG AMERICA 101 

Art. What for ? 

Nutty. He's got it in for you and he's comin' 
here to get Jasper and put him in the dog pound. 

Art. Why? 

Nutty. Because you ain't never paid his dog 
license. 

Art. I'd like to see anybody take my dog away 
from me. (turns and pets Jasper) 

Nutty. He will if you don't pay his tax. I cut 
across lots to beat him here and put you wise. 

Art. What'll I do ? I ain't got no money. 

Nutty. You'll have to get some. 

Art. (looks at money cup on buffet, starts toward 
it, then pauses and looks at Nutty) 

Nutty. Is that where she keeps it? 

Art. Yes. 

Nutty. Then git it. 

Art. I don't like to do this, Nutty. 

Nutty. Do you want to lose your dog ? 

Art. No. 

Nutty. Then go on and git it. (Art starts 
towards cup to get money, then pauses) 

Art. (going to buffet) Do you think it will be 
all right? 

Nutty. I'll do it myself ! (crossings.) 

Art. No you won't. He's my dog and if any- 
body's goin' to do it Fll do it. Watch the stairs. 

Nutty. Then hurry. 

Art. It's no use, Nutty, (crosses R., hesitates; 
turns) I can't do it, I just can't. 

Nutty. Why can't you do it? 

Art. Because she's been good to me. She makes 
me think of my mother and my mother wouldn't 
want me to steal, not even to save Jasper, (crosses 
c) 



102 YOUNG AMERICA 

Nutty, (talcing the money from the cup) All I 
got is a step-mother; I should worry. (Art rushes 
over, tries to stop him) 

Reuter. (appearing at rear window) Hello 
Nut! Good morning, Arthur! (to Nutty) Say, 
if that dog tries to get away from me again I'm going 
tp take a shot at him, understand? A shot at him. 

Art. If you shoot my dog it will be the last thing 
you ever do. (crossing to dog. Nutty goes up L. c.) 

Reuter. Well, well, well, see who's here! Little 
Jesse James! Now look here, you baby porcupine, 
I've come to collect your dog-tax and it's got to be 
paid. Ought to have been paid two months ago. 
You and your hound've been making a goat of me 
long enough. 

Mrs. D. (enters R. Surprised at seeing Reuter) 
Why, Mr. Reuter! Harold, what have you been 
doing ? 

Nutty. I ain't done nuttin'. 

Mrs. D. (to Reuter) Then what brings you 
here, Mr. Reuter? 

Reuter. I came to collect this boy's dog tax. It 
ought to a been paid three months ago. 

Mrs. D. How much is it ? 

Reuter. Two dollars. 

Mrs. D. Thank you, I'll pay it. (goes to buffet. 
Art and Nutty are now side by side. They watch 
her intently — anxiously) 

Reuter. All right, you're his sponsor. I'll just 
sit down and make you out a receipt, (sits l. of table 
and starts writing receipt in receipt book) 

Mrs. D. (goes to buffet, finds money gone; looks 
at boys — dramatic pause) Mr. Reuter, I don't be- 
lieve I will pay that dog tax either. 

Reuter. Eh ? 



YOUNG AMERICA 103 

Mrs. D. I have decided not to pay the tax. (re- 
places money cup on buffet) 

Eeuter. Why didn't you say so in the first place ? 
(closes receipt booh and rises. Art and Nutty are 
now upstage with Jasper. Art starts to exit l. with 
Jasper) Hey, what are yon trying to do — fade away 
with him ? 

Nutty. No, he's just going to give him a little 
fresh air, that's all. 

Eeuter. (goes upstage l.) I'll give him fresh 
air. And something else, (business) Gimme that 
hound! (takes dog's chain from Art. Art watches 
Eeuter. Mrs* D. watches Art.) 

Art. (to Eeuter as Eeuter takes dog's chain) 
Wait a minute, will you? 

Nutty. Hold on ! 

Eeuter. I've been waiting long enough. I've got 
him now and I'm going to keep him. 

Nutty. He said wait a minute. 

Art. Yes, wait a minute. 

Eeuter. Are you going to pay his tax ? 

Art. How can I ? 

Nutty. I'll pay it. (hand in pocket) 

Eeuter. Well ? 

Nutty. I can't pay you now. 

Doray. (comes down the stairs — to Nutty) 
Say, are you going to move in here too ? HelLo, Jim, 
what's the matter now? 

Eeuter. I came to get this cur. He's made me 
the joke of the department. Everytime a cop sees 
me he says "Hello Jasper !" And yesterday this little 
shrimp called me a big cheese! Me, a big cheese! 
and right in front of the Judge. I'll learn him to 
call me names in public, (to Jasper) Come on, you 
fiste! (starts l. to door) 



104 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Doray. What are you going to do with him ? 

Eeuter. Kill him. 

Doray. Kill him? 

Eeuter. Sure ! 

Doray. Not on your life, (pets Jasper) Kill 
that, (points to Art) but when it comes to killing 
a poor innocent dog — not on your life ! I like dogs — 
used to have one myself. 

Eeuter. All right, if you don't want him killed 
see to it that his tax is paid. 

Doray. That's a cinch. How much is it? 

Eeuter. Two dollars — ought to have been paid 
six months ago. 

Doray. (paying Eeuter) There you are. 

Eeuter. All right! That lets me out. (hands 
him dog chain) Here's your dog — here's your re- 
ceipt — I've got a brass tag here some place, to put 
on his collar, (goes up a few steps. Doray hands 
chain to Mrs. Doray and follows Eeuter, who takes 
brass tag from pocket and hands it to Doray) 
There you are ! (to Art as he crosses to l. i.) Say 
kids, you've certainly got a bunch of horse shoes 
around your necks, (at l. d. to Doray) Well, I 
seen my duty and I done it. (business with tooth) 
So long, folks, (exits) 

Doray. So long, Jim. (sits on stairs) 

Mrs. D. (handing dog chain to Art) It is very 
fortunate that Mr. Doray arrived when he did. 
(Nutty comes down to Art, as Mrs. Doray goes up 

E.) 

Nutty. Say Art, I'll see you this afternoon. 
(goes towards L. d.) 

Art. (Nutty comes back to Art) Wait a min- 
ute, Nutty. 

Nutty. What's the matter? 

Art. Come across, come on — kick in! Kick in! 



YOUNG AMEEICA 105 

(Nutty gives him the money. Mrs. D. sees this out 
of the corner of her eye. Jack does not see it) 
Take Jasper and wait outside, I'll be with you in a 
minute. 

Nutty. All right! (exits d. l. with Jasper) 

Art. Here, Mrs. Doray. (handing her money) 
The money that was took from the cup. 

Mrs. D. Did you take it? (Art doesn't answer) 
Did you? (she takes it) 

Art. Yes ma'am. I took it because I was 
afraid I was goin' to lose Jasper. 

Doray. (crossing to Mrs. D. from foot of stairs) 
There you are, what did I tell you? 

Art. I didn't mean to steal it; I'm not a thief. 

Doray. How about those chickens? 

Art. I didn't know it was regular stealing 
then — 

Doray. That's a peach ! 

Art. (continuing broken speech) — like stealin* 
money. But I know better now and I won't do it 
again, (to Mrs. D.) I'm going to turn over a new 
leaf and get a job — and earn money enough to pay 
you back for the new suit and shoes and hat and all 
the other nice things you have given me. (to 
Doray) I'm going to turn out all right, you wait 
and see if I don't, (to Mrs. D.) You won't be 
sorry you kept me out of the Reform School. I've 
made up my mind to amount to something and you 
won't see me again until I do. Good-bye, Mr. Doray. 
(holds out his hand) 

Doray. (takes Art's hand) Good bye. 

Art. Good bye, Mrs. Doray. (Mrs. D. looks at 
Doray and goes to him) 

. Doray. Sh! He's in the right spirit. Let him 
go and fight it out by himself. 



106 YOUNG AMERICA 

Mrs. D. (turns to Art) Good bye, Arthur. 
(shakes hands with him) 

Art. Thank you for all you've done for me. (exits 
L. 1. Mrs. D. sits in rocking chair and begins to 
cry) 

Doray. (going to her — tenderly) Oh Honey, 
don't do that. It's the best thing that could possibly 
have happened to the boy. If he's got any good 
stuff in him it is bound to come out now. 

Mrs. D. He would never have taken that money ! 
(crossing r.) Arthur didn't take it anyhow. 

Doray. What do you mean? Why, he just ad- 
mitted it. 

Mrs. D. Arthur did that to save Harold. 

Doray. What's Harold got to do with it? 

Mrs. D. Harold was trying to save Arthur. 

Doray. To save Arthur? 

Mrs. D. I mean to save Jasper. Oh, you've got 
me so excited I don't know what I mean. The poor 
boy ! You treated him so mean that you just drove 
them both to it. 

Doray. I drove them to it! (goes toward her) 

Mrs. D. (sitting at l. of table and covering eyes 
with handkerchief) Oh this whole thing has made 
me perfectly miserable ! (pointing at Doray, now at 
c.) And it's all your fault. 

Doray. Oh, damn it all, stop blaming me ! 

Mrs. D. (jumping up) Don't you dare swear at 
me! 

Doray. Now, Edie — ! 

Mrs. D. You never swore at me before in your 
life! (covers face with handkerchief and begins to 
sob) 

Doray. Oh, for the love of heaven, good-night! 
I'm going out and get pickled! (dashes up the 
stairs, Mrs. D. follows him to stairs) 



YOUNG AMERICA 107 

Marjorie. (entering L. d. followed by Eomney/ 
Mrs. King, and Benny — all dressed up for pic- 
nicking) Hello! (to the others) Hurry up! 

Mrs. D. (wiping her eyes; coming down r. from 
stairs) My, but you look picknicky. 

Marjorie. (coming down L.) We feel picknicky. 

Benny. Where's Jack? 

Eomney. Yes, where's Jack ? 

Mrs. King. Why don't you hurry? It's past 
8 o' clock. 

Mrs. D. (to the men) I don't think Jack is 
going. 

All. Why not? 

Mrs. D. (now at r. of table) Ask him yourself. 
He's upstairs. 

Benny. Come on, Eomney, we'll have to try a 
little oratory on him. (exits up stairs) 

Eomney. Yes, and if oratory won't do, we'll use 
something stronger. (exits stairs) 

Mrs. K. (to Mrs. D.) What on earth is the 
matter with Jack that he doesn't want to go ? 

Mrs. D. He's upset over Arthur. 

Mrs. K. I don't blame Jack for not wanting him. 
(sits in chair at l. of table) 

Marjorie. I believe he'll be an awful nuisance. 
Of course, it really isn't any affair of ours, but — 

Mrs. K. It isn't, and then again it is. That boy 
is spoiling our picnic and he'll keep right on spoiling 
things just as long as you have him around the 
house. 

Mrs. D. (crossing to her) He isn't around the 
house, and anyway I think it very unkind of you to 
talk that way, Mrs. King. I don't see why you 
should interfere one way or the other. 

Mrs. K. I'm not trying to interfere — I'm just 
telling you what I think. 



108 YOUNG AMERICA 

Marjorie. Let's not discuss it, Fanny. 

Mrs. K. Why not? The boy's broken up our 
party, hasn't he? 

Mrs. D. I don't care to hear your views on the 
matter, Mrs. King. It's really none of your busi- 
ness, (crossing up around l.) 

Mrs. K. (rising) Excuse me for living ! 

Marjorie. (crossing r. to her) Now, Fanny, 
please! If Mrs. Doray feels that way, why — 

Mrs. D. (coming to them) I do feel that way, 
and you'll both do me a favor by dropping the sub- 
ject now and for good. 

Mrs. K. (angrily, as she crosses toward l. d.) 
Very well, I will drop it for good if that's the way 
you feel. 

Doray. (to Romney and Benny as they come 
down the stairs) No, boys, I'm in no humor to go. 

Mrs. D. Jack, you go to the picnic, and I'll stay 
here. 

Doray. (crossing l.) No. I'm in no humor 
to go any place. 

Mrs. K. (indignantly) Come on Benny. I don't 
care to stay where I'm not wanted. 

Benny, (crossing to her) What? 

Doray. (at l. d.) Why, what do you mean, Mrs. 
King? 

Mrs. K. I mean that your wife has been very 
rude and I've been insulted. 

Doray. (cnossing to Edith — at l. of table) Why, 
Edith! 

Mrs. D. She was saying terrible things about 
Arthur, and I told her to mind her own business. 

Doray. Oh, that kid again! (goes up toward 
pantry door) 

Mrs. D. (crossing to Benny l.) The trouble 



YOUNG^AMEEICA 109 

with your wife, Mr. King, is that she talks too 
much. 

Benny, Well, I don't think that's a very nice 
thing to say — at least it doesn't seem ladylike. 

Eomney. (going to Benny) Benny! Benny! 
Now don't lose your head ! 

Benny. You shut up ! 

Maejoeie. Eomney, don't let him talk that way 
to you. 

Doeay. (crossing to Benny) Now, let's not 
have any trouble over this. 

Benny. Well, I think your wife should at least 
apologize. 

Doeay. (indignant) What for? 

Benny. For insulting my wife. 

Mes. D. I did no such thing. 

Mes. K. She did too, didn't she, Margie? 

Maejoeie. I don't think she meant to, Fanny. 

Mes. K. You know she did. What are you lying 
for? 

Eomney. Margie, don't let her talk like that to 
you. 

Maejoeie. (to Eomney) Oh, you keep your 
mouth closed. 

Mes. K. (to Benny) I was only giving her a 
little advice about getting rid of that boy. (Benny 
goes up stage a step or two) 

Doeay. Well, I don't see where you have any 
right to come into my wife's house and tell her her 
own business. 

Benny, (coming down to Doeay) Don't talk 
like that to my wife ! 

Doeay. Your wife's a busy-body. 

Benny. Will you come outside and say that ! 

Doeay. You bet your sweet life I will! (fhey 



110 YOUNG AMEKICA 

start up l. Women scream and grab respective hus- 
bands) 

Eomney. (between the men and pushing them 
apart) Now, now, boys, this is all wrong. (after 
they have lined up again) Now let's all shake hands 
and forget it. (position; table, Mrs. D., D., R., B., 
Mrs. K.;p 

Benny. Yon keep ont of this, (ready auto horn) 

Doray. You'll get hnrt if yon don't. 

Eomney. Who'll hnrt me ? I'd like to see either 
one of yon try it. I'll pnt yon both on the sidewalk 
if yon make any bluffs at me. 

Marjorie. (going to him frightened) Eomney, 
please ! 

Doray. (driving them out) Go on, get ont of 
my house! The whole outfit! All of you! Get 
out! Out! Out! (picknickers chattering angrily 
exit l. d. Mrs. K. pulling Benny of to keep him 
from striking Doray and Marjorie pulling Eomney 
off. Doray closes the door and paces angrily back 
and forth, then to Mrs. Doray now seated miserably 
above table) Well, I hope you're satisfied 
I've been cheated out of my fishing trip, my night's 
sleep, my shave, my holiday ! The first time in my 
life I have sworn at my wife. Not only that, I've 
made enemies of all my neighbors. They'll never 
speak to me again, (auto horn, auto effect sounds off 
stage : Doray goes to window rear, and looks off) 
There they go. There they go off for a good time. 
And here I am alone, marooned, miserable. And all 
because you tried to turn my house into an orphan 
asylum, (going to table) I tell you, Edith Doray, 
philanthropy is all right, but it does not begin at 
home. We were happy before that kid came between 
us. Weren't we ? 

Mrs. D. (sobs) 



YOUNG AMEEICA 111 

Doray. Are we happy now ? 

Mrs. D. (sobs) 

Doray. Well, you may be, but . Fm not. (cross- 
ing L.) And I never will be. My wife hates me, 
my neighbors hate me, I hate myself. I hate every- 
thing! (returning to her, at table) And why? 
That's the tragedy of it ? Why ? Because you tried 
to make an angel out of an angle-worm. I told you 
it couldn't be done, but you wouldn't listen to me. 
You never listen to me. That's the trouble nowa- 
days. That's the trouble with the whole United 
States ! WIVES WILL NOT LISTEN TO THEIE 
HUSBANDS. (screams of confusion off stage. 
Doray runs to rear window) 

Mrs. D. (anxiously going up rear) What's the 
matter ? 

Doray. (on rear window seat, looking out) 
They're coming back! Something has happened. 

Art. (entering l. d. excitedly, dramatically) 
Mrs. Doray ! Mrs. Doray ! Jasper ! Jasper ! He's 
hurt ! 

Nutty, (looking off, as lie enters l. d.) Bring 
him in here, Mr. Larsen. 

Larsen. (enters l. d.) Say, this dog is pretty 
badly hurt. 

Mrs. D. (eagerly) How did it happen? 

Nutty. He ran in front of that automobile Mr. 
Burgess was driving — that fat guy. 

Art. (to Larsen) You don't think he'll die, do 
you? 

Larsen. Looks like it. 

Mrs. D. Bring the sofa down — put him on it. 
(enter l. d. Eomney, Mrs. King, Marjorie; they 
are greatly excited) 

Eomney. (entering) Where is the dog? Is he 
hurt? I tried to steer away from him. 



112 YOUNG AMEKICA 

Benny. Gee ! This is too bad ! 

Mes. K. Oh, the poor dog ! 

Marjorie. Isn't it too bad! (They go down to 
above sofa) 

Doray. I'll get some camphor, (dashes upstairs) 

Mrs. D. (to Nutty) Bring a glass of water 
from the kitchen. 

Nutty, (dashing into pantry) Water ! Water ! 

Art. Don't let him die! Please don't let him 
die. 

Romney. (to Mrs. D. as Doray re-enters with 
bottle of camphor) Hadn't I better 'phone for a 
doctor ? 

Mrs. D. Send for Billy Coombs; he knows a lot 
about dogs. 

Doray. Just the thing! Benny, run across the 
street and tell Billy Coombs to come right over. 
Tell him to bring his medicine chest. 

Benny. I'll have him over right away. (exits 
on the run) 

Doray. (to Mrs. D.) Have we any spirits of 
ammonia ? 

Mrs. K. I'll get it. Where is it ? 

Mrs. D. In the pantry. (Mrs. King rushes off, 
pantry) 

Doray. (to Marjorie) Bring a hot towel. 

Marjorie. All right! (as she runs to stairs) 
Hot towel, hot towel! (exits) 

Doray. (to Art) Get some ice. 

Art. Yes sir! Ice! Ice! (runs to pantry 
door, colliding with Nutty) 

Nutty, (to Art) You spilt this water, you big 
boob, (exit Art into pantry, Nutty gives empty 
glass to Doray who places it on at head of sofa) 

Doray. (to Nutty) Run down to the drug 
store and get some plaster paris bandages. 



YOUNG AMERICA 113 

Nutty, {dashing off) Yes sir! Plaster paris 
bandages! Plaster paris bandages! 

Romney. Margie ! Hurry ! Come on with that 
hot towel. {crossing to foot of stairs — at foot of 
stairs) Margie ! Hurry ! 

Romney. {at foot of stairs) Margie! Hurry! 

Nutty, {rushing bach on) Hey, do they give 
'em away? {turns trouser pockets wrong side out to 
show that he has no money) 

Doray. Charge it to me. 

Nutty, {dashing off) Charge it to you! 
Charge it to you! 

Dokay. Get me some beef tea. 

Mas. D. We haven't any. 

Doray. Romney, go and get some extract of beef. 

Romney. Sure I'll get it right away. {rushes 
out L.) 

Art. {rushing on from pantry with a five-pound 
piece of ice) Here's the ice, Mr. Doray. 

Doray. Crack it. 

Art. Yes sir! Crack it! {dashes off, pantry) 

Doray. Where's the ice bag? 

Mrs. D. I'll get it. {dashes upstairs. Doray 
runs to buffet for glass of whiskey) 

Mrs. K. {enters) Here's the camphor! 

Marjorie. {enters) Here's the hot towel! 

Benny, {entering l. d.) Here's the doctor. 

Coombs, {entering rapidly with small black medi- 
cine case) Where is he? 

Doray. {pointing) There. 

Coombs, {over to couch) How did it happen? 

Doray. {pouring brandy into glass at buffet) 
Automobile. 

Coombs. What have you done for him — any- 
thing ? 

Doray. No, but I'm going to. 

8 



114: YOUNG AMEEICA 

Coombs. Going to! Great Scott, man, this dog 
needs a stimulant! 

Doray. (going l. with brandy) That's just 
what I'm going to give him. 

Coombs, (takes glass from Doray) What is 
this? 

Doray. Brandy. 

Coombs. What that dog needs is a stimulant. 

Doray. Brandy is a stimulant. 

Coombs. Yes, but it was never intended for dogs. 
(drinks brandy and crosses to table) 

Mrs. D. (enters from stairs) Here is the ice 
bag, Jack, (crosses to c.) 

Coombs, (placing medicine chest on table) Good. 
Fill it with hot water. 

Doray. Fill it with ice. 

Coombs, (amazed) Ice for a weak heart? 

Doray. Certainly 

Coombs. Why, man, you're crazy! 

Doray. I'm not crazy. I know something about 
dogs myself, Billy Coombs. 

Coombs. You may know something, but you don't 
know much, if you say — 

Doray. When my dog was ill I used ice on him. 

Coombs. Did he get well? 

Doray. No, but — 

Coombs. There you are! 

Doray. Yes, but — 

Coombs, (testily) Now wait a minute: this is 
no time to argue. We've got a sick patient on our 
hands and the thing to do is to cure him. 

Doray. Then do it. 

Coombs. I'm going to if you stop talking long 
enough. 

Doray. You're the one that's doing all the 
talking. 



YOUNG AMEEICA 115 

Mes. D. Stop talking and do something. 

Art. (enters from b. with pan of cracked ice. to 
c.) Here's the smashed ice, Mr. Doray. 

Coombs. Boil it. 

Aet. But Mr. Doray said — 

Coombs. Never mind what Mr. Doray says — Fm 
the doctor in this case. If you want your dog to 
live, do as I say. Hurry! (Aet exits up e.) 

Doeay. Now wait a minute, Billy — 

Coombs. Get a wine glass, (takes bottles from 
case) 

Mes. D. Dont you think we had better — 

Coombs. This is no time to think. (Mes. Doeay 
starts e.) Never mind the spoon — accelerate his 
respiration. 

Mes. D. (puzzled) Did you say — ? 

Coombs. Accelerate his respiration — massage his 
ribs — loosen his lungs — beat his bellows — help him to 
breathe, (reads label as Mes. Doeay runs to couch 
l.) 77 stimulant. 

Mes. D. (beside dog on couch) Hurry, Mr. 
Coombs, hurry ! His heart is fluttering like a leaf. 

Doeay. Yes, Billy, hurry, hurry ! 

Coombs, (crosses l. with glass of medicine) Get 
him ready. Help me give it to him, Jack. 

Doeay. (over with Coombs) Certainly. 

Coombs. Open his mouth, Jack. That's the stuff. 
Nice doggie, now. Nice, doggie, (getting the med- 
icine into the dog) There ! (all watch the dog) 

Aet. (entering from e.) Have you give it to 
him yet? (Romney re-enters with jar of beef ex- 
tract wrapped in paper) 

Coombs. Yes. 

Aet. (over to dog) Is he any stronger? 

Coombs, (feeling dog's heart) Not yet. 



116 YOUNG AMERICA 

Art. Come on, Jasper, come on! You're got to 
get well ! You've got to get well ! 

Doray. Of course he's going to get well. 
(to others) Fight for him. Fight for him. 

Art. (to Doray) Snap your fingers! It don't 
do no good if you don't make a noise. 

Everybody, (loudly and snapping their fingers 
with all their might and main; they look as if they 
were shooting craps) Come on, Jasper, come on ! 
You're going to get well ! You're going to get well. 
Come on, come on. (Nutty dashes in with pack- 
ages — others don't see him — he comes down c.) 
Come on! that's the stuff. Come on! Come on! 

Nutty, (loudly) Say, what is this — a crap 
game? 

Art. Shut up ! We're trying to save Jasper. 

Nutty. Is he still livin'? 

Coombs. Of course he's living. (Nutty crosses 
up to door l.) 

Art. Looky ! See his eyes, they're gettin' bright ! 
They're gettin' brighter! (all look at dog) Don't 
you know me ? Don't you know me, Jasper ? Jasper ! 
Jasper! (Brings dog on pillow to c. and placing 
pillow on floor kneels beside it — facing front) Come 
on Jasper you're all right now, aren't you, Jasper»? 
Of course you are. (to Mrs. D.) See ! He's all right 
now. (to Jasper) Aren't you, Jasper? Of course 
you are. Of course you are. Thanks for savin' him, 
Mrs. I}oray, thanks. 

Mrs. D. I didn't save him, dear, Mr. Coombs 
saved him. 

Art. Yes, but if it hadn't been for you, Mr. 
Coombs wouldn't have been here. You're the one 
that saved him. (sobs) Excuse me for crying — 
but I'm so happy — I thought Jasper was going to 
die. (sobs — pause) 



YOUNG AMERICA 117 

Doray. (to Benny and Romney) You folks 
run along or you'll be late for your picnic. 

Benny. All right again, Jack? (takes hold of 
Doray's hand) 

Romney. Will you shake hands with me, too 
Jack? 

Doray. Sure, (they shake hands — all three men 
are holding hands. The three women are over* r. 
kissing each other) 

Benny. It's all right over there, too. (points to 
women r. Pinto without leash enters L. Nutty 
picks him up) 

Nutty. (coming down with Pinto l.) Say! 
Who does this belong to ? 

Coombs. Suffering catfish! The albino beauty 
has learned to trail me. 

Benny, (exiting d. l.) Come on, folks. 

Romney. Yes come on, or we'll never get started. 
(crossing) 

Mrs. K. (exiting) Good-bye everybody. 

Marjorie. (exiting) Good-bye Edie. 

Everybody. Good-bye ! 

Coombs. Do you want a job, Nutty? 

Nutty. What'll you give me ? 

Coombs. Six dollars a week and expenses. 

Nutty. What doin'? 

Coombs. Running errands in my office, and after 
office hours taking care of Pinto. All you have to 
do is to keep him out of my sight. Is it a go ? 

Nutty. Sure. When do I start to work? 

Coombs. Right now. (hands Pinto to him) 
Here take him ! 

Mrs. D. (softly — kneeling oeside Art who is 
crying) Arthur — don't cry! Please don't cry. 
(places hand on his head tenderly) Arthur. 

Nutty. Don't cry, Art. I got a job now. (holds 



118 YOUNG AMEEICA 

Pinto up) See! Six bucks a week and tree of it 
goes to you. Nix, Art, you'll have me bawlin' in a 
minute. 

Art. I can't help it, Nutty, I thought Jasper was 
goin' to die. (rises) Come on, Jasper. Goodbye, 
everybody, (crosses toward L. D.) 

Doeay. Where are you going? 

Art. I guess I've given you trouble enough for 
one day. 

Mrs. D. (to Doray quietly but anxiously) Don't 
let him go like that. 

Doray. (emphatically — when Art is about to 
exit l. d.) Come here! (Art stops and looks at 
him) Come here! (Art goes to Mr. D.) I've 
made up my mind to make a man of you if it takes 
me the rest of my life. Any body who loves a dog 
the way you do and admits that he has done wrong, 
is made of good stuff — understand ? 

Art. Yes sir. 

Doray. Then see that you don't forget it! 
(comedy business by Doray; he jerks the bottom of 
his own coat down, swells out his chest importantly 
and struts proudly toward the table) 

Mrs. D. (puts her arms around Art to Doray) 
He won't, dear. 

Coombs, (to Doray) Say, you're beginning to 
talk like a regular father. 

Doray. I feel like a regular father ! 

Coombs. So do I. (looks at Nutty; then to 
Doray) Say, let's take them to the ball game. 

Doray. Fine. 

Mrs. D. Splendid! 

Nutty. Will you go, Art? 

Art. You bet ! 

Doray. And it's a double header, too. 

Nutty. Some game? Huh? — 



YOUNG AMEEICA no 

Coombs. Precisely ! 

Art. (to Jasper) Gee, Jasper, don't it feel 
great to have a regular home ! 

Mrs. D. We haven't had any breakfast. Have a 
bite, Billy? 

Coombs. No, I feel so good natured I couldn't 
bite anything, (crosses extreme r. gets chair sits at 
table) 

Dorat. Then have some grape fruit, (takes pil- 
low off chair at l. of table and puts it on window c.) 

Art. Grape fruit's all right, but it gets in your 
eye. 

Nutty, (crossing r. with chair) Well I don't 
know much about it but I'll take a flyer myself. 
(sits at l. of table with Pinto in arms) 

Doray. (has brought newspaper down from win- 
dow c. — sits — loohs at headlines) 

Nutty. Who's pitchin'? 

Doray. I'll see. 

Coombs, (taking paper from him) Here, let me 
see. (they all cluster around — Coombs holding 
paper, and Art and Nutty looking over his shoulder, 
all three facing up-stag e) 

CUKTAIN 



YOUNG AMEEICA 

Off Stage Props 

One cake of ice — R. 

Alarm clock — R. 

Live dog — L. 

Ice bag — R, 

Dishes — r. 

Boiled eggs — R. 

Clock effect striking off-stage — L. 

Flour in small bags — r. 

Cigar — r. 

Coffee pot with hot coffee — r. 

Toast — r. 

Smelling salts bottle — R. 

Straw hat — l. (Act II.) 

On Stage Props — Acts One and Three 

Knife and fork for three in side-board drawer. 
Dishes and silver to dress side-board. 
Red table cloth on large table. 
Telephone and books on small table. 
Clock on wall, practical. 
Vacuum cleaner, practical. 
Two pillows on settee. 
Two pillows on window seat. 

Act Two 

Gavel on bench. 
Court-room papers. 

120 



ESnSH 







